Shakespeare Portal

Act 3, Scene 1

OLIVIA'S garden.

  1. [Enter VIOLA, and CLOWN with a tabor.]
  2. Viola
  3. 1086 Save thee, friend, and thy music. Dost thou live by thy tabor?
  4. Feste
  5. 1087 No, sir, I live by the church.
  6. Viola
  7. 1088 Art thou a churchman?
  8. Feste
  9. 1089 No such matter, sir: I do live by the church; for I do live
  10. 1090 at my house, and my house doth stand by the church.
  11. Viola
  12. 1091 So thou mayst say the king lies by a beggar, if a beggar
  13. 1092 dwell near him; or the church stands by thy tabor, if thy tabor
  14. 1093 stand by the church.
  15. Feste
  16. 1094 You have said, sir.—To see this age!—A sentence is but a
  17. 1095 cheveril glove to a good wit. How quickly the wrong side may be
  18. 1096 turned outward!
  19. Viola
  20. 1097 Nay, that's certain; they that dally nicely with words may
  21. 1098 quickly make them wanton.
  22. Feste
  23. 1099 I would, therefore, my sister had had no name, sir.
  24. Viola
  25. 1100 Why, man?
  26. Feste
  27. 1101 Why, sir, her name's a word; and to dally with that word
  28. 1102 might make my sister wanton. But indeed words are very rascals,
  29. 1103 since bonds disgraced them.
  30. Viola
  31. 1104 Thy reason, man?
  32. Feste
  33. 1105 Troth, sir, I can yield you none without words; and words
  34. 1106 are grown so false I am loath to prove reason with them.
  35. Viola
  36. 1107 I warrant, thou art a merry fellow, and carest for nothing.
  37. Feste
  38. 1108 Not so, sir, I do care for something: but in my conscience,
  39. 1109 sir, I do not care for you; if that be to care for nothing, sir,
  40. 1110 I would it would make you invisible.
  41. Viola
  42. 1111 Art not thou the Lady Olivia's fool?
  43. Feste
  44. 1112 No, indeed, sir; the Lady Olivia has no folly: she will keep
  45. 1113 no fool, sir, till she be married; and fools are as like husbands
  46. 1114 as pilchards are to herrings, the husband's the bigger; I am,
  47. 1115 indeed, not her fool, but her corrupter of words.
  48. Viola
  49. 1116 I saw thee late at the Count Orsino's.
  50. Feste
  51. 1117 Foolery, sir, does walk about the orb like the sun; it
  52. 1118 shines everywhere. I would be sorry, sir, but the fool should be
  53. 1119 as oft with your master as with my mistress: I think I saw your
  54. 1120 wisdom there.
  55. Viola
  56. 1121 Nay, an thou pass upon me, I'll no more with thee.
  57. 1122 Hold, there's expenses for thee.
  58. Feste
  59. 1123 Now Jove, in his next commodity of hair, send thee a beard!
  60. Viola
  61. 1124 By my troth, I'll tell thee, I am almost sick for one; though I
  62. 1125 would not have it grow on my chin. Is thy lady within?
  63. Feste
  64. 1126 Would not a pair of these have bred, sir?
  65. Viola
  66. 1127 Yes, being kept together and put to use.
  67. Feste
  68. 1128 I would play Lord Pandarus of Phrygia, sir, to bring a
  69. 1129 Cressida to this Troilus.
  70. Viola
  71. 1130 I understand you, sir; 'tis well begged.
  72. Feste
  73. 1131 The matter, I hope, is not great, sir, begging but a beggar:
  74. 1132 Cressida was a beggar. My lady is within, sir. I will construe to
  75. 1133 them whence you come; who you are and what you would are out of
  76. 1134 my welkin: I might say element; but the word is overworn.
  77. [Exit.]
  78. Viola
  79. 1135 This fellow's wise enough to play the fool;
  80. 1136 And, to do that well, craves a kind of wit:
  81. 1137 He must observe their mood on whom he jests,
  82. 1138 The quality of persons, and the time;
  83. 1139 And, like the haggard, check at every feather
  84. 1140 That comes before his eye. This is a practice
  85. 1141 As full of labour as a wise man's art:
  86. 1142 For folly, that he wisely shows, is fit;
  87. 1143 But wise men, folly-fallen, quite taint their wit.
  88. [Enter SIR TOBY BELCH and SIR ANDREW AGUE-CHEEK.]
  89. Sir Toby Belch
  90. 1144 Save you, gentleman.
  91. Viola
  92. 1145 And you, sir.
  93. Sir Andrew Aguecheek
  94. 1146 Dieu vous garde, monsieur.
  95. Viola
  96. 1147 Et vous aussi; votre serviteur.
  97. Sir Andrew Aguecheek
  98. 1148 I hope, sir, you are; and I am yours.
  99. Sir Toby Belch
  100. 1149 Will you encounter the house? my niece is desirous you
  101. 1150 should enter, if your trade be to her.
  102. Viola
  103. 1151 I am bound to your niece, sir: I mean, she is the list of my
  104. 1152 voyage.
  105. Sir Toby Belch
  106. 1153 Taste your legs, sir; put them to motion.
  107. Viola
  108. 1154 My legs do better understand me, sir, than I understand what
  109. 1155 you mean by bidding me taste my legs.
  110. Sir Toby Belch
  111. 1156 I mean, to go, sir, to enter.
  112. Viola
  113. 1157 I will answer you with gait and entrance: but we are prevented.
  114. [Enter OLIVIA and MARIA.]
  115. Viola
  116. 1158 Most excellent accomplished lady, the heavens rain odours on you!
  117. Sir Andrew Aguecheek
  118. 1159 That youth's a rare courtier- 'Rain odours'! well.
  119. Viola
  120. 1160 My matter hath no voice, lady, but to your own most pregnant
  121. 1161 and vouchsafed car.
  122. Sir Andrew Aguecheek
  123. 1162 'Odours,' 'pregnant,' and 'vouchsafed':—I'll get 'em all
  124. 1163 three ready.
  125. Olivia
  126. 1164 Let the garden door be shut, and leave me to my hearing.
  127. [Exeunt SIR TOBY, SIR ANDREW, and MARIA.]
  128. Olivia
  129. 1165 Give me your hand, sir.
  130. Viola
  131. 1166 My duty, madam, and most humble service.
  132. Olivia
  133. 1167 What is your name?
  134. Viola
  135. 1168 Cesario is your servant's name, fair princess.
  136. Olivia
  137. 1169 My servant, sir! 'Twas never merry world,
  138. 1170 Since lowly feigning was call'd compliment:
  139. 1171 You are servant to the Count Orsino, youth.
  140. Viola
  141. 1172 And he is yours, and his must needs be yours;
  142. 1173 Your servant's servant is your servant, madam.
  143. Olivia
  144. 1174 For him, I think not on him: for his thoughts,
  145. 1175 Would they were blanks rather than fill'd with me!
  146. Viola
  147. 1176 Madam, I come to whet your gentle thoughts
  148. 1177 On his behalf:—
  149. Olivia
  150. 1178 O, by your leave, I pray you:
  151. 1179 I bade you never speak again of him:
  152. 1180 But, would you undertake another suit,
  153. 1181 I had rather hear you to solicit that
  154. 1182 Than music from the spheres.
  155. Viola
  156. 1183 Dear lady,—
  157. Olivia
  158. 1184 Give me leave, beseech you: I did send,
  159. 1185 After the last enchantment you did here,
  160. 1186 A ring in chase of you; so did I abuse
  161. 1187 Myself, my servant, and, I fear me, you:
  162. 1188 Under your hard construction must I sit;
  163. 1189 To force that on you, in a shameful cunning,
  164. 1190 Which you knew none of yours. What might you think?
  165. 1191 Have you not set mine honour at the stake,
  166. 1192 And baited it with all the unmuzzl'd thoughts
  167. 1193 That tyrannous heart can think? To one of your receiving
  168. 1194 Enough is shown: a cypress, not a bosom,
  169. 1195 Hides my heart: so let me hear you speak.
  170. Viola
  171. 1196 I Pity you.
  172. Olivia
  173. 1197 That's a degree to love.
  174. Viola
  175. 1198 No, not a grise; for 'tis a vulgar proof
  176. 1199 That very oft we pity enemies.
  177. Olivia
  178. 1200 Why, then, methinks 'tis time to smile again:
  179. 1201 O world, how apt the poor are to be proud!
  180. 1202 If one should be a prey, how much the better
  181. 1203 To fall before the lion than the wolf!
  182. [Clock strikes.]
  183. Olivia
  184. 1204 The clock upbraids me with the waste of time.—
  185. 1205 Be not afraid, good youth, I will not have you:
  186. 1206 And yet, when wit and youth is come to harvest,
  187. 1207 Your wife is like to reap a proper man.
  188. 1208 There lies your way, due-west.
  189. Viola
  190. 1209 Then westward-ho:
  191. 1210 Grace and good disposition 'tend your ladyship!
  192. 1211 You'll nothing, madam, to my lord by me?
  193. Olivia
  194. 1212 Stay:
  195. 1213 I pr'ythee tell me what thou think'st of me.
  196. Viola
  197. 1214 That you do think you are not what you are.
  198. Olivia
  199. 1215 If I think so, I think the same of you.
  200. Viola
  201. 1216 Then think you right; I am not what I am.
  202. Olivia
  203. 1217 I would you were as I would have you be!
  204. Viola
  205. 1218 Would it be better, madam, than I am,
  206. 1219 I wish it might; for now I am your fool.
  207. Olivia
  208. 1220 O what a deal of scorn looks beautiful
  209. 1221 In the contempt and anger of his lip!
  210. 1222 A murd'rous guilt shows not itself more soon
  211. 1223 Than love that would seem hid: love's night is noon.
  212. 1224 Cesario, by the roses of the spring,
  213. 1225 By maidhood, honour, truth, and everything,
  214. 1226 I love thee so that, maugre all thy pride,
  215. 1227 Nor wit, nor reason, can my passion hide.
  216. 1228 Do not extort thy reasons from this clause,
  217. 1229 For, that I woo, thou therefore hast no cause:
  218. 1230 But rather reason thus with reason fetter:
  219. 1231 Love sought is good, but given unsought is better.
  220. Viola
  221. 1232 By innocence I swear, and by my youth,
  222. 1233 I have one heart, one bosom, and one truth,
  223. 1234 And that no woman has; nor never none
  224. 1235 Shall mistress be of it, save I alone.
  225. 1236 And so adieu, good madam; never more
  226. 1237 Will I my master's tears to you deplore.
  227. Olivia
  228. 1238 Yet come again: for thou, perhaps, mayst move
  229. 1239 That heart, which now abhors, to like his love.
  230. [Exeunt.]