Shakespeare Portal

Act 2, Scene 3

The same. A street

  1. [Enter LAUNCE, leading a dog.]
  2. Launce
  3. 563 Nay, 'twill be this hour ere I have done weeping; all the
  4. 564 kind of the Launces have this very fault. I have received my
  5. 565 proportion, like the prodigious son, and am going with Sir
  6. 566 Proteus to the imperial's court. I think Crab my dog be the
  7. 567 sourest-natured dog that lives: my mother weeping, my father
  8. 568 wailing, my sister crying, our maid howling, our cat wringing her
  9. 569 hands, and all our house in a great perplexity; yet did not this
  10. 570 cruel-hearted cur shed one tear. He is a stone, a very pebble
  11. 571 stone, and has no more pity in him than a dog; a Jew would have
  12. 572 wept to have seen our parting; why, my grandam having no eyes,
  13. 573 look you, wept herself blind at my parting. Nay, I'll show you
  14. 574 the manner of it. This shoe is my father; no, this left shoe is
  15. 575 my father; no, no, left shoe is my mother; nay, that cannot be so
  16. 576 neither; yes, it is so, it is so, it hath the worser sole. This
  17. 577 shoe with the hole in it is my mother, and this my father. A
  18. 578 vengeance on 't! There 'tis: now, sir, this staff is my sister,
  19. 579 for, look you, she is as white as a lily and as small as a wand;
  20. 580 this hat is Nan our maid; I am the dog; no, the dog is himself,
  21. 581 and I am the dog—O! the dog is me, and I am myself; ay, so, so.
  22. 582 Now come I to my father: 'Father, your blessing.' Now should not
  23. 583 the shoe speak a word for weeping; now should I kiss my father;
  24. 584 well, he weeps on. Now come I to my mother;—O, that she could
  25. 585 speak now like a wood woman! Well, I kiss her; why there 'tis;
  26. 586 here's my mother's breath up and down. Now come I to my sister;
  27. 587 mark the moan she makes. Now the dog all this while sheds not a
  28. 588 tear, nor speaks a word; but see how I lay the dust with my
  29. 589 tears.
  30. [Enter PANTHINO.]
  31. Panthino
  32. 590 Launce, away, away, aboard! Thy master is shipped, and
  33. 591 thou art to post after with oars. What's the matter? Why weep'st
  34. 592 thou, man? Away, ass! You'll lose the tide if you tarry any
  35. 593 longer.
  36. Launce
  37. 594 It is no matter if the tied were lost; for it is the
  38. 595 unkindest tied that ever any man tied.
  39. Panthino
  40. 596 What's the unkindest tide?
  41. Launce
  42. 597 Why, he that's tied here, Crab, my dog.
  43. Panthino
  44. 598 Tut, man, I mean thou'lt lose the flood, and, in losing
  45. 599 the flood, lose thy voyage, and, in losing thy voyage, lose thy
  46. 600 master, and, in losing thy master, lose thy service, and, in
  47. 601 losing thy service,—Why dost thou stop my mouth?
  48. Launce
  49. 602 For fear thou shouldst lose thy tongue.
  50. Panthino
  51. 603 Where should I lose my tongue?
  52. Launce
  53. 604 In thy tale.
  54. Panthino
  55. 605 In thy tail!
  56. Launce
  57. 606 Lose the tide, and the voyage, and the master, and the
  58. 607 service, and the tied! Why, man, if the river were dry, I am able
  59. 608 to fill it with my tears; if the wind were down, I could drive
  60. 609 the boat with my sighs.
  61. Panthino
  62. 610 Come, come away, man; I was sent to call thee.
  63. Launce
  64. 611 Sir, call me what thou darest.
  65. Panthino
  66. 612 Will thou go?
  67. Launce
  68. 613 Well, I will go.
  69. [Exeunt.]