Shakespeare Portal

Act 5, Scene 2

LEONATO'S Garden.

  1. [Enter BENEDICK and MARGARET, meeting.]
  2. Benedick
  3. 2021 Pray thee, sweet Mistress Margaret, deserve well at my hands by
  4. 2022 helping me to the speech of Beatrice.
  5. Margaret
  6. 2023 Will you then write me a sonnet in praise of my beauty?
  7. Benedick
  8. 2024 In so high a style, Margaret, that no man living shall come over
  9. 2025 it; for, in most comely truth, thou deservest it.
  10. Margaret
  11. 2026 To have no man come over me! why, shall I always keep below stairs?
  12. Benedick
  13. 2027 Thy wit is as quick as the greyhound's mouth; it catches.
  14. Margaret
  15. 2028 And yours as blunt as the fencer's foils, which hit, but hurt not.
  16. Benedick
  17. 2029 A most manly wit, Margaret; it will not hurt a woman: and so, I
  18. 2030 pray thee, call Beatrice. I give thee the bucklers.
  19. Margaret
  20. 2031 Give us the swords, we have bucklers of our own.
  21. Benedick
  22. 2032 If you use them, Margaret, you must put in the pikes with a vice;
  23. 2033 and they are dangerous weapons for maids.
  24. Margaret
  25. 2034 Well, I will call Beatrice to you, who I think hath legs.
  26. Benedick
  27. 2035 And therefore will come.
  28. [Exit MARGARET.]
  29. Benedick
  30. 2036 The god of love,
  31. 2037 That sits above,
  32. 2038 And knows me, and knows me,
  33. 2039 How pitiful I deserve,—
  34. Benedick
  35. 2040 I mean, in singing: but in loving, Leander the good swimmer,
  36. 2041 Troilus the first employer of panders, and a whole book full of
  37. 2042 these quondam carpet-mongers, whose names yet run smoothly in the
  38. 2043 even road of a blank verse, why, they were never so truly turned
  39. 2044 over and over as my poor self in love. Marry, I cannot show it in
  40. 2045 rime; I have tried: I can find out no rime to 'lady' but 'baby',
  41. 2046 an innocent rhyme; for 'scorn,' 'horn', a hard rime; for 'school',
  42. 2047 'fool', a babbling rhyme; very ominous endings: no, I was not born
  43. 2048 under a riming planet, nor I cannot woo in festival terms.
  44. [Enter BEATRICE.]
  45. Benedick
  46. 2049 Sweet Beatrice, wouldst thou come when I called thee?
  47. Beatrice
  48. 2050 Yea, signior; and depart when you bid me.
  49. Benedick
  50. 2051 O, stay but till then!
  51. Beatrice
  52. 2052 'Then' is spoken; fare you well now: and yet, ere I go, let me go with
  53. 2053 that I came for; which is, with knowing what hath passed between you
  54. 2054 and Claudio.
  55. Benedick
  56. 2055 Only foul words; and thereupon I will kiss thee.
  57. Beatrice
  58. 2056 Foul words is but foul wind, and foul wind is but foul breath, and
  59. 2057 foul breath is noisome; therefore I will depart unkissed.
  60. Benedick
  61. 2058 Thou hast frighted the word out of his right sense, so forcible is
  62. 2059 thy wit. But I must tell thee plainly, Claudio undergoes my challenge,
  63. 2060 and either I must shortly hear from him, or I will subscribe him a
  64. 2061 coward. And, I pray thee now, tell me, for which of my bad parts didst
  65. 2062 thou first fall in love with me?
  66. Beatrice
  67. 2063 For them all together; which maintained so politic a state of evil
  68. 2064 that they will not admit any good part to intermingle with them.
  69. 2065 But for which of my good parts did you first suffer love for me?
  70. Benedick
  71. 2066 'Suffer love,' a good epithet! I do suffer love indeed, for I love
  72. 2067 thee against my will.
  73. Beatrice
  74. 2068 In spite of your heart, I think. Alas, poor heart! If you spite it
  75. 2069 for my sake, I will spite it for yours; for I will never love that
  76. 2070 which my friend hates.
  77. Benedick
  78. 2071 Thou and I are too wise to woo peaceably.
  79. Beatrice
  80. 2072 It appears not in this confession: there's not one wise man among
  81. 2073 twenty that will praise himself.
  82. Benedick
  83. 2074 An old, an old instance, Beatrice, that lived in the time of good
  84. 2075 neighbours. If a man do not erect in this age his own tomb ere he
  85. 2076 dies, he shall live no longer in monument than the bell rings and
  86. 2077 the widow weeps.
  87. Beatrice
  88. 2078 And how long is that think you?
  89. Benedick
  90. 2079 Question: why, an hour in clamour and a quarter in rheum: therefore
  91. 2080 is it most expedient for the wise,—if Don Worm, his conscience,
  92. 2081 find no impediment to the contrary,—to be the trumpet of his own
  93. 2082 virtues, as I am to myself. So much for praising myself, who, I
  94. 2083 myself will bear witness, is praiseworthy. And now tell me, how doth
  95. 2084 your cousin?
  96. Beatrice
  97. 2085 Very ill.
  98. Benedick
  99. 2086 And how do you?
  100. Beatrice
  101. 2087 Very ill too.
  102. Benedick
  103. 2088 Serve God, love me, and mend. There will I leave you too, for here
  104. 2089 comes one in haste.
  105. [Enter URSULA.]
  106. Ursula
  107. 2090 Madam, you must come to your uncle. Yonder's old coil at home: it is
  108. 2091 proved, my Lady Hero hath been falsely accused, the prince and Claudio
  109. 2092 mightily abused; and Don John is the author of all, who is fled and
  110. 2093 gone. Will you come presently?
  111. Beatrice
  112. 2094 Will you go hear this news, signior?
  113. Benedick
  114. 2095 I will live in thy heart, die in thy lap, and be buried in thy eyes;
  115. 2096 and moreover I will go with thee to thy uncle's.
  116. [Exeunt.]