Act 3, Scene 4
OLIVIA'S garden.
- [Enter OLIVIA and MARIA.]
- Olivia
- 1361 I have sent after him. He says he'll come;
- 1362 How shall I feast him? what bestow on him?
- 1363 For youth is bought more oft than begged or borrowed.
- 1364 I speak too loud.—
- 1365 Where's Malvolio?—He is sad and civil,
- 1366 And suits well for a servant with my fortunes;—
- 1367 Where is Malvolio?
- Maria
- 1368 He's coming, madam:
- 1369 But in very strange manner. He is sure possessed.
- Olivia
- 1370 Why, what's the matter? does he rave?
- Maria
- 1371 No, madam, he does nothing but smile: your ladyship were
- 1372 best to have some guard about you if he come;
- 1373 For, sure, the man is tainted in his wits.
- Olivia
- 1374 Go call him hither.—I'm as mad as he,
- 1375 If sad and merry madness equal be.—
- [Enter MALVOLIO.]
- Olivia
- 1376 How now, Malvolio?
- Malvolio
- 1377 Sweet lady, ho, ho.
- [Smiles fantastically.]
- Olivia
- 1378 Smil'st thou?
- 1379 I sent for thee upon a sad occasion.
- Malvolio
- 1380 Sad, lady? I could be sad: this does make some
- 1381 obstruction in the blood, this cross-gartering. But what of that?
- 1382 If it please the eye of one, it is with me as the very true
- 1383 sonnet is: 'Please one and please all.'
- Olivia
- 1384 Why, how dost thou, man? what is the matter with thee?
- Malvolio
- 1385 Not black in my mind, though yellow in my legs.
- 1386 It did come to his hands, and commands shall be executed.
- 1387 I think we do know the sweet Roman hand.
- Olivia
- 1388 Wilt thou go to bed, Malvolio?
- Malvolio
- 1389 To bed? ay, sweetheart; and I'll come to thee.
- Olivia
- 1390 God comfort thee! Why dost thou smile so, and kiss thy hand so
- 1391 oft?
- Maria
- 1392 How do you, Malvolio?
- Malvolio
- 1393 At your request? Yes; nightingales answer daws.
- Maria
- 1394 Why appear you with this ridiculous boldness before my lady?
- Malvolio
- 1395 'Be not afraid of greatness':—'twas well writ.
- Olivia
- 1396 What meanest thou by that, Malvolio?
- Malvolio
- 1397 'Some are born great,'—
- Olivia
- 1398 Ha?
- Malvolio
- 1399 'Some achieve greatness,'—
- Olivia
- 1400 What say'st thou?
- Malvolio
- 1401 'And some have greatness thrust upon them.'
- Olivia
- 1402 Heaven restore thee!
- Malvolio
- 1403 'Remember who commended thy yellow stockings;'—
- Olivia
- 1404 Thy yellow stockings?
- Malvolio
- 1405 'And wished to see thee cross-gartered.'
- Olivia
- 1406 Cross-gartered?
- Malvolio
- 1407 'Go to: thou an made, if thou desirest to be so:'—
- Olivia
- 1408 Am I made?
- Malvolio
- 1409 'If not, let me see thee a servant still.'
- Olivia
- 1410 Why, this is very midsummer madness.
- [Enter Servant.]
- Servant
- 1411 Madam, the young gentleman of the Count Orsino's is
- 1412 returned; I could hardly entreat him back; he attends your
- 1413 ladyship's pleasure.
- Olivia
- 1414 I'll come to him.
- [Exit Servant.]
- Olivia
- 1415 Good Maria, let this fellow be looked to. Where's my cousin Toby?
- 1416 Let some of my people have a special care of him; I would not
- 1417 have him miscarry for the half of my dowry.
- [Exeunt OLIVIA and MARIA.]
- Malvolio
- 1418 O, ho! do you come near me now? No worse man than Sir
- 1419 Toby to look to me? This concurs directly with the letter: she
- 1420 sends him on purpose, that I may appear stubborn to him; for she
- 1421 incites me to that in the letter. 'Cast thy humble slough,' says
- 1422 she;—'be opposite with a kinsman, surly with servants,—let thy
- 1423 tongue tang with arguments of state,—put thyself into the trick
- 1424 of singularity;—and consequently, sets down the manner how; as,
- 1425 a sad face, a reverend carriage, a slow tongue, in the habit of
- 1426 some sir of note, and so forth. I have limed her; but it is
- 1427 Jove's doing, and Jove make me thankful! And, when she went away
- 1428 now, 'Let this fellow be looked to;' Fellow! not Malvolio, nor
- 1429 after my degree, but fellow. Why, everything adheres together;
- 1430 that no dram of a scruple, no scruple of a scruple, no obstacle,
- 1431 no incredulous or unsafe circumstance,—What can be said?
- 1432 Nothing, that can be, can come between me and the full prospect
- 1433 of my hopes. Well, Jove, not I, is the doer of this, and he is to
- 1434 be thanked.
- [Re-enter MARIA, with SIR TOBY BELCH and FABIAN.]
- Sir Toby Belch
- 1435 Which way is he, in the name of sanctity? If all the
- 1436 devils of hell be drawn in little, and Legion himself possessed
- 1437 him, yet I'll speak to him.
- Fabian
- 1438 Here he is, here he is:—How is't with you, sir? how is't with
- 1439 you, man?
- Malvolio
- 1440 Go off; I discard you; let me enjoy my private; go off.
- Maria
- 1441 Lo, how hollow the fiend speaks within him! did not I tell
- 1442 you?—Sir Toby, my lady prays you to have a care of him.
- Malvolio
- 1443 Ah, ha! does she so?
- Sir Toby Belch
- 1444 Go to, go to; peace, peace, we must deal gently with him;
- 1445 let me alone. How do you, Malvolio? how is't with you? What, man!
- 1446 defy the devil: consider, he's an enemy to mankind.
- Malvolio
- 1447 Do you know what you say?
- Maria
- 1448 La you, an you speak ill of the devil, how he takes it at
- 1449 heart! Pray God he be not bewitched.
- Fabian
- 1450 Carry his water to the wise woman.
- Maria
- 1451 Marry, and it shall be done to-morrow morning, if I live. My
- 1452 lady would not lose him for more than I'll say.
- Malvolio
- 1453 How now, mistress!
- Maria
- 1454 O lord!
- Sir Toby Belch
- 1455 Pr'ythee hold thy peace; this is not the way. Do you not
- 1456 see you move him? let me alone with him.
- Fabian
- 1457 No way but gentleness; gently, gently: the fiend is rough,
- 1458 and will not be roughly used.
- Sir Toby Belch
- 1459 Why, how now, my bawcock? how dost thou, chuck.
- Malvolio
- 1460 Sir?
- Sir Toby Belch
- 1461 Ay, Biddy, come with me. What, man! 'tis not for gravity
- 1462 to play at cherry-pit with Satan. Hang him, foul collier!
- Maria
- 1463 Get him to say his prayers; good Sir Toby, get him to pray.
- Malvolio
- 1464 My prayers, minx?
- Maria
- 1465 No, I warrant you, he will not hear of godliness.
- Malvolio
- 1466 Go, hang yourselves all! you are idle shallow things: I
- 1467 am not of your element; you shall know more hereafter.
- [Exit.]
- Sir Toby Belch
- 1468 Is't possible?
- Fabian
- 1469 If this were played upon a stage now, I could condemn it as
- 1470 an improbable fiction.
- Sir Toby Belch
- 1471 His very genius hath taken the infection of the device, man.
- Maria
- 1472 Nay, pursue him now; lest the device take air and taint.
- Fabian
- 1473 Why, we shall make him mad indeed.
- Maria
- 1474 The house will be the quieter.
- Sir Toby Belch
- 1475 Come, we'll have him in a dark room and bound. My niece
- 1476 is already in the belief that he's mad; we may carry it thus, for
- 1477 our pleasure and his penance, till our very pastime, tired out of
- 1478 breath, prompt us to have mercy on him: at which time we will
- 1479 bring the device to the bar, and crown thee for a finder of
- 1480 madmen. But see, but see.
- [Enter SIR ANDREW AGUE-CHEEK.]
- Fabian
- 1481 More matter for a May morning.
- Sir Andrew Aguecheek
- 1482 Here's the challenge, read it; I warrant there's vinegar and
- 1483 pepper in't.
- Fabian
- 1484 Is't so saucy?
- Sir Andrew Aguecheek
- 1485 Ay, is't, I warrant him; do but read.
- Sir Toby Belch
- 1486 Give me.
- [Reads.]
- Sir Toby Belch
- 1487 'Youth, whatsoever thou art, thou art but a
- 1488 scurvy fellow.'
- Fabian
- 1489 Good and valiant.
- Sir Toby Belch
- 1490 'Wonder not, nor admire not in thy mind, why I do
- 1491 call thee so, for I will show thee no reason for't.'
- Fabian
- 1492 A good note: that keeps you from the blow of the law.
- Sir Toby Belch
- 1493 'Thou comest to the Lady Olivia, and in my sight
- 1494 she uses thee kindly: but thou liest in thy throat; that is not
- 1495 the matter I challenge thee for.'
- Fabian
- 1496 Very brief, and to exceeding good senseless.
- Sir Toby Belch
- 1497 'I will waylay thee going home; where if it be
- 1498 thy chance to kill me,'—
- Fabian
- 1499 Good.
- Sir Toby Belch
- 1500 'Thou kill'st me like a rogue and a villain.'
- Fabian
- 1501 Still you keep o' the windy side of the law. Good.
- Sir Toby Belch
- 1502 'Fare thee well; and God have mercy upon one of
- 1503 our souls! He may have mercy upon mine; but my hope is better,
- 1504 and so look to thyself. Thy friend, as thou usest him, and thy
- 1505 sworn enemy, Andrew Ague-Cheek.'
- 1506 If this letter move him not, his legs cannot: I'll give't him.
- Maria
- 1507 You may have very fit occasion for't; he is now in some
- 1508 commerce with my lady, and will by and by depart.
- Sir Toby Belch
- 1509 Go, Sir Andrew; scout me for him at the corner of the
- 1510 orchard, like a bum-bailiff; so soon as ever thou seest him,
- 1511 draw; and as thou drawest, swear horrible; for it comes to pass
- 1512 oft that a terrible oath, with a swaggering accent sharply
- 1513 twanged off, gives manhood more approbation than ever proof
- 1514 itself would have earned him. Away.
- Sir Andrew Aguecheek
- 1515 Nay, let me alone for swearing.
- [Exit.]
- Sir Toby Belch
- 1516 Now will not I deliver his letter; for the behaviour of
- 1517 the young gentleman gives him out to be of good capacity and
- 1518 breeding; his employment between his lord and my niece confirms
- 1519 no less; therefore this letter, being so excellently ignorant,
- 1520 will breed no terror in the youth: he will find it comes from a
- 1521 clodpole. But, sir, I will deliver his challenge by word of
- 1522 mouth, set upon Ague-cheek notable report of valour, and drive
- 1523 the gentleman,—as I know his youth will aptly receive it,—into
- 1524 a most hideous opinion of his rage, skill, fury, and impetuosity.
- 1525 This will so fright them both that they will kill one another by
- 1526 the look, like cockatrices.
- [Enter OLIVIA and VIOLA.]
- Fabian
- 1527 Here he comes with your niece; give them way till he take
- 1528 leave, and presently after him.
- Sir Toby Belch
- 1529 I will meditate the while upon some horrid message for a
- 1530 challenge.
- [Exeunt SIR TOBY, FABIAN, and MARIA.]
- Olivia
- 1531 I have said too much unto a heart of stone,
- 1532 And laid mine honour too unchary on it:
- 1533 There's something in me that reproves my fault;
- 1534 But such a headstrong potent fault it is
- 1535 That it but mocks reproof.
- Viola
- 1536 With the same 'haviour that your passion bears
- 1537 Goes on my master's griefs.
- Olivia
- 1538 Here, wear this jewel for me; 'tis my picture;
- 1539 Refuse it not; it hath no tongue to vex you:
- 1540 And, I beseech you, come again to-morrow.
- 1541 What shall you ask of me that I'll deny,
- 1542 That, honour saved, may upon asking give?
- Viola
- 1543 Nothing but this, your true love for my master.
- Olivia
- 1544 How with mine honour may I give him that
- 1545 Which I have given to you?
- Viola
- 1546 I will acquit you.
- Olivia
- 1547 Well, come again to-morrow. Fare thee well;
- 1548 A fiend like thee might bear my soul to hell.
- [Exit.]
- [Re-enter SIR TOBY BELCH and SIR FABIAN.]
- Sir Toby Belch
- 1549 Gentleman, God save thee.
- Viola
- 1550 And you, sir.
- Sir Toby Belch
- 1551 That defence thou hast, betake thee to't. Of what nature
- 1552 the wrongs are thou hast done him, I know not; but thy
- 1553 intercepter, full of despite, bloody as the hunter, attends
- 1554 thee at the orchard end: dismount thy tuck, be yare in thy
- 1555 preparation, for thy assailant is quick, skilful, and deadly.
- Viola
- 1556 You mistake, sir; I am sure no man hath any quarrel to me;
- 1557 my remembrance is very free and clear from any image of offence
- 1558 done to any man.
- Sir Toby Belch
- 1559 You'll find it otherwise, I assure you: therefore, if you
- 1560 hold your life at any price, betake you to your guard; for your
- 1561 opposite hath in him what youth, strength, skill, and wrath, can
- 1562 furnish man withal.
- Viola
- 1563 I pray you, sir, what is he?
- Sir Toby Belch
- 1564 He is knight, dubbed with unhacked rapier and on carpet
- 1565 consideration; but he is a devil in private brawl; souls and
- 1566 bodies hath he divorced three; and his incensement at this moment
- 1567 is so implacable that satisfaction can be none but by pangs of
- 1568 death and sepulchre: hob, nob is his word; give't or take't.
- Viola
- 1569 I will return again into the house and desire some conduct
- 1570 of the lady. I am no fighter. I have heard of some kind of men
- 1571 that put quarrels purposely on others to taste their valour:
- 1572 belike this is a man of that quirk.
- Sir Toby Belch
- 1573 Sir, no; his indignation derives itself out of a very
- 1574 competent injury; therefore, get you on and give him his desire.
- 1575 Back you shall not to the house, unless you undertake that with
- 1576 me which with as much safety you might answer him: therefore on,
- 1577 or strip your sword stark naked; for meddle you must, that's
- 1578 certain, or forswear to wear iron about you.
- Viola
- 1579 This is as uncivil as strange. I beseech you, do me this
- 1580 courteous office as to know of the knight what my offence to him
- 1581 is; it is something of my negligence, nothing of my purpose.
- Sir Toby Belch
- 1582 I Will do so. Signior Fabian, stay you by this gentleman
- 1583 till my return.
- [Exit SIR TOBY.]
- Viola
- 1584 Pray you, sir, do you know of this matter?
- Fabian
- 1585 I know the knight is incensed against you, even to a mortal
- 1586 arbitrement; but nothing of the circumstance more.
- Viola
- 1587 I beseech you, what manner of man is he?
- Fabian
- 1588 Nothing of that wonderful promise, to read him by his form,
- 1589 as you are like to find him in the proof of his valour. He is
- 1590 indeed, sir, the most skilful, bloody, and fatal opposite that
- 1591 you could possibly have found in any part of Illyria. Will you
- 1592 walk towards him? I will make your peace with him if I can.
- Viola
- 1593 I shall be much bound to you for't. I am one that would
- 1594 rather go with sir priest than sir knight: I care not who knows
- 1595 so much of my mettle.
- [Exeunt.]
- [Re-enter SIR TOBY With SIR ANDREW.]
- Sir Toby Belch
- 1596 Why, man, he's a very devil; I have not seen such a
- 1597 virago. I had a pass with him, rapier, scabbard, and all, and he
- 1598 gives me the stuck-in with such a mortal motion that it is
- 1599 inevitable; and on the answer, he pays you as surely as your feet
- 1600 hit the ground they step on. They say he has been fencer to the
- 1601 Sophy.
- Sir Andrew Aguecheek
- 1602 Pox on't, I'll not meddle with him.
- Sir Toby Belch
- 1603 Ay, but he will not now be pacified: Fabian can scarce
- 1604 hold him yonder.
- Sir Andrew Aguecheek
- 1605 Plague on't; an I thought he had been valiant, and so
- 1606 cunning in fence, I'd have seen him damned ere I'd have
- 1607 challenged him. Let him let the matter slip and I'll give him
- 1608 my horse, grey Capilet.
- Sir Toby Belch
- 1609 I'll make the motion. Stand here, make a good show on't;
- 1610 this shall end without the perdition of souls.
- [Aside.]
- Sir Toby Belch
- 1611 Marry,
- 1612 I'll ride your horse as well as I ride you.
- [Re-enter FABIAN and VIOLA.]
- Sir Toby Belch
- 1613 I have his horse
- [To FABIAN.]
- Sir Toby Belch
- 1614 to take up the quarrel; I have
- 1615 persuaded him the youth's a devil.
- Fabian
- 1616 He is as horribly conceited of him; and pants and looks pale, as
- 1617 if a bear were at his heels.
- Sir Toby Belch
- 1618 There's no remedy, sir: he will fight with you for's oath sake:
- 1619 marry, he hath better bethought him of his quarrel, and he finds
- 1620 that now scarce to be worth talking of: therefore, draw for the
- 1621 supportance of his vow; he protests he will not hurt you.
- [Aside]
- Viola
- 1622 Pray God defend me! A little thing would make me
- 1623 tell them how much I lack of a man.
- Fabian
- 1624 Give ground if you see him furious.
- Sir Toby Belch
- 1625 Come, Sir Andrew, there's no remedy; the gentleman will,
- 1626 for his honour's sake, have one bout with you: he cannot by the
- 1627 duello avoid it; but he has promised me, as he is a gentleman and
- 1628 a soldier, he will not hurt you. Come on: to't.
- Sir Andrew Aguecheek
- 1629 Pray God he keep his oath!
- [Draws.]
- [Enter ANTONIO.]
- Viola
- 1630 I do assure you 'tis against my will.
- [Draws.]
- Antonio
- 1631 Put up your sword:—if this young gentleman
- 1632 Have done offence, I take the fault on me;
- 1633 If you offend him, I for him defy you.
- [Drawing.]
- Sir Toby Belch
- 1634 You, sir! why, what are you?
- Antonio
- 1635 One, sir, that for his love dares yet do more
- 1636 Than you have heard him brag to you he will.
- Sir Toby Belch
- 1637 Nay, if you be an undertaker, I am for you.
- [Draws.]
- [Enter two Officers.]
- Sir Toby Belch
- 1638 FABIAN. O good Sir Toby, hold; here come the officers.
- [To ANTONIO]
- Sir Toby Belch
- 1639 I'll be with you anon.
- [To Sir Andrew.]
- Viola
- 1640 Pray, sir, put your sword up, if you please.
- Sir Andrew Aguecheek
- 1641 Marry, will I, sir; and for that I promised you, I'll be
- 1642 as good as my word. He will bear you easily and reins well.
- First Officer
- 1643 This is the man; do thy office.
- Second Officer
- 1644 Antonio, I arrest thee at the suit
- 1645 Of Count Orsino.
- Antonio
- 1646 You do mistake me, sir.
- First Officer
- 1647 No, sir, no jot; I know your favour well,
- 1648 Though now you have no sea-cap on your head.—
- 1649 Take him away; he knows I know him well.
- Antonio
- 1650 I Must obey.—This comes with seeking you;
- 1651 But there's no remedy; I shall answer it.
- 1652 What will you do? Now my necessity
- 1653 Makes me to ask you for my purse. It grieves me
- 1654 Much more for what I cannot do for you
- 1655 Than what befalls myself. You stand amazed;
- 1656 But be of comfort.
- Second Officer
- 1657 Come, sir, away.
- Antonio
- 1658 I must entreat of you some of that money.
- Viola
- 1659 What money, sir?
- 1660 For the fair kindness you have showed me here,
- 1661 And part being prompted by your present trouble,
- 1662 Out of my lean and low ability
- 1663 I'll lend you something; my having is not much;
- 1664 I'll make division of my present with you:
- 1665 Hold, there is half my coffer.
- Antonio
- 1666 Will you deny me now?
- 1667 Is't possible that my deserts to you
- 1668 Can lack persuasion? Do not tempt my misery,
- 1669 Lest that it make me so unsound a man
- 1670 As to upbraid you with those kindnesses
- 1671 That I have done for you.
- Viola
- 1672 I know of none,
- 1673 Nor know I you by voice or any feature:
- 1674 I hate ingratitude more in a man
- 1675 Than lying, vainness, babbling, drunkenness,
- 1676 Or any taint of vice whose strong corruption
- 1677 Inhabits our frail blood.
- Antonio
- 1678 O heavens themselves!
- Second Officer
- 1679 Come, sir, I pray you go.
- Antonio
- 1680 Let me speak a little. This youth that you see here
- 1681 I snatched one half out of the jaws of death,
- 1682 Relieved him with such sanctity of love,—
- 1683 And to his image, which methought did promise
- 1684 Most venerable worth, did I devotion.
- First Officer
- 1685 What's that to us? The time goes by; away.
- Antonio
- 1686 But O how vile an idol proves this god!
- 1687 Thou hast, Sebastian, done good feature shame.
- 1688 In nature there's no blemish but the mind;
- 1689 None can be call'd deform'd but the unkind:
- 1690 Virtue is beauty; but the beauteous-evil
- 1691 Are empty trunks, o'erflourished by the devil.
- First Officer
- 1692 The man grows mad; away with him. Come, come, sir.
- Antonio
- 1693 Lead me on.
- [Exeunt Officers with ANTONIO.]
- Viola
- 1694 Methinks his words do from such passion fly
- 1695 That he believes himself; so do not I.
- 1696 Prove true, imagination; O prove true,
- 1697 That I, dear brother, be now ta'en for you!
- Sir Toby Belch
- 1698 Come hither, knight; come hither, Fabian; we'll whisper
- 1699 o'er a couplet or two of most sage saws.
- Viola
- 1700 He named Sebastian; I my brother know
- 1701 Yet living in my glass; even such and so
- 1702 In favour was my brother; and he went
- 1703 Still in this fashion, colour, ornament,
- 1704 For him I imitate. O, if it prove,
- 1705 Tempests are kind, and salt waves fresh in love!
- [Exit.]
- Sir Toby Belch
- 1706 A very dishonest paltry boy, and more a coward than a
- 1707 hare: his dishonesty appears in leaving his friend here in
- 1708 necessity, and denying him; and for his cowardship, ask Fabian.
- Fabian
- 1709 A coward, a most devout coward, religious in it.
- Sir Andrew Aguecheek
- 1710 'Slid, I'll after him again and beat him.
- Sir Toby Belch
- 1711 Do, cuff him soundly, but never draw thy sword.
- Sir Andrew Aguecheek
- 1712 And I do not,—
- [Exit.]
- Fabian
- 1713 Come, let's see the event.
- Sir Toby Belch
- 1714 I dare lay any money 'twill be nothing yet.
- [Exeunt.]