Act 2, Scene 4

A Street.

[Enter Benvolio and Mercutio.]
Mercutio
1094 Where the devil should this Romeo be?—
1095 Came he not home to-night?
Benvolio
1096 Not to his father's; I spoke with his man.
Mercutio
1097 Ah, that same pale hard-hearted wench, that Rosaline,
1098 Torments him so that he will sure run mad.
Benvolio
1099 Tybalt, the kinsman to old Capulet,
1100 Hath sent a letter to his father's house.
Mercutio
1101 A challenge, on my life.
Benvolio
1102 Romeo will answer it.
Mercutio
1103 Any man that can write may answer a letter.
Benvolio
1104 Nay, he will answer the letter's master, how he
1105 dares, being dared.
Mercutio
1106 Alas, poor Romeo, he is already dead! stabbed with a white
1107 wench's black eye; shot through the ear with a love song; the
1108 very pin of his heart cleft with the blind bow-boy's butt-shaft:
1109 and is he a man to encounter Tybalt?
Benvolio
1110 Why, what is Tybalt?
Mercutio
1111 More than prince of cats, I can tell you. O, he's the
1112 courageous captain of compliments. He fights as you sing
1113 prick-song—keeps time, distance, and proportion; rests me his
1114 minim rest, one, two, and the third in your bosom: the very
1115 butcher of a silk button, a duellist, a duellist; a gentleman of
1116 the very first house,—of the first and second cause: ah, the
1117 immortal passado! the punto reverso! the hay.—
Benvolio
1118 The what?
Mercutio
1119 The pox of such antic, lisping, affecting fantasticoes; these
1120 new tuners of accents!—'By Jesu, a very good blade!—a very tall
1121 man!—a very good whore!'—Why, is not this a lamentable thing,
1122 grandsire, that we should be thus afflicted with these strange
1123 flies, these fashion-mongers, these pardonnez-moi's, who stand so
1124 much on the new form that they cannot sit at ease on the old
1125 bench? O, their bons, their bons!
Benvolio
1126 Here comes Romeo, here comes Romeo!
Mercutio
1127 Without his roe, like a dried herring.—O flesh, flesh, how art
1128 thou fishified!—Now is he for the numbers that Petrarch flowed
1129 in: Laura, to his lady, was but a kitchen wench,—marry, she had
1130 a better love to be-rhyme her; Dido, a dowdy; Cleopatra, a gypsy;
1131 Helen and Hero, hildings and harlots; Thisbe, a gray eye or so,
1132 but not to the purpose,—
[Enter Romeo.]
Mercutio
1133 Signior Romeo, bon jour! there's a French salutation to your
1134 French slop. You gave us the counterfeit fairly last night.
Romeo
1135 Good morrow to you both. What counterfeit did I give you?
Mercutio
1136 The slip, sir, the slip; can you not conceive?
Romeo
1137 Pardon, good Mercutio, my business was great; and in such a
1138 case as mine a man may strain courtesy.
Mercutio
1139 That's as much as to say, such a case as yours constrains a
1140 man to bow in the hams.
Romeo
1141 Meaning, to court'sy.
Mercutio
1142 Thou hast most kindly hit it.
Romeo
1143 A most courteous exposition.
Mercutio
1144 Nay, I am the very pink of courtesy.
Romeo
1145 Pink for flower.
Mercutio
1146 Right.
Romeo
1147 Why, then is my pump well-flowered.
Mercutio
1148 Well said: follow me this jest now till thou hast worn out
1149 thy pump; that, when the single sole of it is worn, the jest may
1150 remain, after the wearing, sole singular.
Romeo
1151 O single-soled jest, solely singular for the singleness!
Mercutio
1152 Come between us, good Benvolio; my wits faint.
Romeo
1153 Swits and spurs, swits and spurs; or I'll cry a match.
Mercutio
1154 Nay, if thy wits run the wild-goose chase, I have done; for
1155 thou hast more of the wild-goose in one of thy wits than, I am
1156 sure, I have in my whole five: was I with you there for the
1157 goose?
Romeo
1158 Thou wast never with me for anything when thou wast not
1159 there for the goose.
Mercutio
1160 I will bite thee by the ear for that jest.
Romeo
1161 Nay, good goose, bite not.
Mercutio
1162 Thy wit is a very bitter sweeting; it is a most sharp
1163 sauce.
Romeo
1164 And is it not, then, well served in to a sweet goose?
Mercutio
1165 O, here's a wit of cheveril, that stretches from an inch
1166 narrow to an ell broad!
Romeo
1167 I stretch it out for that word broad: which added to the
1168 goose, proves thee far and wide a broad goose.
Mercutio
1169 Why, is not this better now than groaning for love? now art
1170 thou sociable, now art thou Romeo; not art thou what thou art, by
1171 art as well as by nature: for this drivelling love is like a
1172 great natural, that runs lolling up and down to hide his bauble
1173 in a hole.
Benvolio
1174 Stop there, stop there.
Mercutio
1175 Thou desirest me to stop in my tale against the hair.
Benvolio
1176 Thou wouldst else have made thy tale large.
Mercutio
1177 O, thou art deceived; I would have made it short: for I was
1178 come to the whole depth of my tale; and meant indeed to occupy
1179 the argument no longer.
Romeo
1180 Here's goodly gear!
[Enter Nurse and Peter.]
Mercutio
1181 A sail, a sail, a sail!
Benvolio
1182 Two, two; a shirt and a smock.
Nurse
1183 Peter!
Peter
1184 Anon.
Nurse
1185 My fan, Peter.
Mercutio
1186 Good Peter, to hide her face; for her fan's the fairer face.
Nurse
1187 God ye good morrow, gentlemen.
Mercutio
1188 God ye good-den, fair gentlewoman.
Nurse
1189 Is it good-den?
Mercutio
1190 'Tis no less, I tell ye; for the bawdy hand of the dial is
1191 now upon the prick of noon.
Nurse
1192 Out upon you! what a man are you!
Romeo
1193 One, gentlewoman, that God hath made for himself to mar.
Nurse
1194 By my troth, it is well said;—for himself to mar, quoth
1195 'a?—Gentlemen, can any of you tell me where I may find the young
1196 Romeo?
Romeo
1197 I can tell you: but young Romeo will be older when you have
1198 found him than he was when you sought him: I am the youngest of
1199 that name, for fault of a worse.
Nurse
1200 You say well.
Mercutio
1201 Yea, is the worst well? very well took, i' faith; wisely,
1202 wisely.
Nurse
1203 If you be he, sir, I desire some confidence with you.
Benvolio
1204 She will indite him to some supper.
Mercutio
1205 A bawd, a bawd, a bawd! So ho!
Romeo
1206 What hast thou found?
Mercutio
1207 No hare, sir; unless a hare, sir, in a lenten pie, that is
1208 something stale and hoar ere it be spent.
[Sings.]
Mercutio
1209 An old hare hoar,
1210 And an old hare hoar,
1211 Is very good meat in Lent;
1212 But a hare that is hoar
1213 Is too much for a score
1214 When it hoars ere it be spent.
Mercutio
1215 Romeo, will you come to your father's? we'll to dinner thither.
Romeo
1216 I will follow you.
Mercutio
1217 Farewell, ancient lady; farewell,—
[singing]
Mercutio
1218 lady, lady, lady.
[Exeunt Mercutio, and Benvolio.]
Nurse
1219 Marry, farewell!—I pray you, sir, what saucy merchant was
1220 this that was so full of his ropery?
Romeo
1221 A gentleman, nurse, that loves to hear himself talk; and
1222 will speak more in a minute than he will stand to in a month.
Nurse
1223 An 'a speak anything against me, I'll take him down, an'a
1224 were lustier than he is, and twenty such Jacks; and if I cannot,
1225 I'll find those that shall. Scurvy knave! I am none of his
1226 flirt-gills; I am none of his skains-mates.—And thou must stand
1227 by too, and suffer every knave to use me at his pleasure!
Nurse
1228 Peter. I saw no man use you at his pleasure; if I had, my weapon
1229 should quickly have been out, I warrant you: I dare draw as soon
1230 as another man, if I see occasion in a good quarrel, and the law
1231 on my side.
Nurse
1232 Now, afore God, I am so vexed that every part about me
1233 quivers. Scurvy knave!—Pray you, sir, a word: and, as I told
1234 you, my young lady bid me enquire you out; what she bade me say I
1235 will keep to myself: but first let me tell ye, if ye should lead
1236 her into a fool's paradise, as they say, it were a very gross
1237 kind of behaviour, as they say: for the gentlewoman is young;
1238 and, therefore, if you should deal double with her, truly it were
1239 an ill thing to be offered to any gentlewoman, and very weak
1240 dealing.
Romeo
1241 Nurse, commend me to thy lady and mistress. I protest unto
1242 thee,—
Nurse
1243 Good heart, and i' faith I will tell her as much: Lord,
1244 Lord, she will be a joyful woman.
Romeo
1245 What wilt thou tell her, nurse? thou dost not mark me.
Nurse
1246 I will tell her, sir,—that you do protest: which, as I
1247 take it, is a gentlemanlike offer.
Romeo
1248 Bid her devise some means to come to shrift
1249 This afternoon;
1250 And there she shall at Friar Lawrence' cell
1251 Be shriv'd and married. Here is for thy pains.
Nurse
1252 No, truly, sir; not a penny.
Romeo
1253 Go to; I say you shall.
Nurse
1254 This afternoon, sir? well, she shall be there.
Romeo
1255 And stay, good nurse, behind the abbey-wall:
1256 Within this hour my man shall be with thee,
1257 And bring thee cords made like a tackled stair;
1258 Which to the high top-gallant of my joy
1259 Must be my convoy in the secret night.
1260 Farewell; be trusty, and I'll quit thy pains:
1261 Farewell; commend me to thy mistress.
Nurse
1262 Now God in heaven bless thee!—Hark you, sir.
Romeo
1263 What say'st thou, my dear nurse?
Nurse
1264 Is your man secret? Did you ne'er hear say,
1265 Two may keep counsel, putting one away?
Romeo
1266 I warrant thee, my man's as true as steel.
Nurse
1267 Well, sir; my mistress is the sweetest lady.—Lord, Lord!
1268 when 'twas a little prating thing,—O, there's a nobleman in
1269 town, one Paris, that would fain lay knife aboard; but she, good
1270 soul, had as lief see a toad, a very toad, as see him. I anger
1271 her sometimes, and tell her that Paris is the properer man; but
1272 I'll warrant you, when I say so, she looks as pale as any clout
1273 in the versal world. Doth not rosemary and Romeo begin both with
1274 a letter?
Romeo
1275 Ay, nurse; what of that? both with an R.
Nurse
1276 Ah, mocker! that's the dog's name. R is for the dog: no; I
1277 know it begins with some other letter:—and she hath the
1278 prettiest sententious of it, of you and rosemary, that it would
1279 do you good to hear it.
Romeo
1280 Commend me to thy lady.
Nurse
1281 Ay, a thousand times.
[Exit Romeo.]
Nurse
1282 —Peter!
Peter
1283 Anon?
Nurse
1284 Peter, take my fan, and go before.
[Exeunt.]

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Word definitions on hover

Notes

TLN 1108classical allusion
“blind bow-boy's butt-shaft”
Mercutio mocks Romeo for being helpless before Cupid, the Roman god of love usually pictured as a blindfolded boy armed with a bow. A 'butt-shaft' is a blunt-tipped practice arrow used in archery butts (target practice), the cheapest and least powerful kind — Mercutio implies even Cupid's most feeble shot has felled Romeo.
classical Cupid's golden and leaden arrows
TLN 1111historical topical
“prince of cats”
Tybalt's name was the same as the cat's name in the medieval beast-fable Reynard the Fox, where the cat Tibert is a cunning, dangerous creature. 'Prince of cats' mocks Tybalt as a preening, predatory animal rather than a gentleman-swordsman.
historical Tybalt, 'Prince of Cats'
TLN 1112historical topical
“courageous captain of compliments. He fights as you sing prick-song”
Mercutio mocks the new Italian fashion in dueling. 'Captain of compliments' means a master of the formal rules of etiquette and honor; 'prick-song' means singing from written notation (precisely measured, note-for-note) rather than by ear. Tybalt fights by the fashionable Continental dueling manual — perfect time, perfect form — and Mercutio finds it ridiculous and deadly.
TLN 1119historical topical
“antic, lisping, affecting fantasticoes; these new tuners of accents”
Mercutio lashes out at Italianate fashionistas who adopt foreign speech affectations ('new tuners of accents') and use French and Italian exclamations. 'Fantasticoes' are affected dandies; 'pardonnez-moi' (French for 'excuse me') was a mock-polite evasion. 'Bons' (TLN 1125) puns on French 'bons' (goods) and the affected Anglicized cry 'O, their bones!' — mocking men who litter English speech with foreign words.
TLN 1127wordplay
“Without his roe, like a dried herring”
Mercutio splits 'Romeo' into 'Ro-meo' and says Romeo is now without his 'roe' (the moist eggs inside a fish) — dried out and fishified by lovesickness. A herring without its roe is a pale, desiccated thing. The joke also plays on the word 'roe' as sexual vitality — Rosaline's rejection has left Romeo empty.
TLN 1128historical topical
“numbers that Petrarch flowed in: Laura, to his lady, was but a kitchen wench”
Mercutio says Romeo is now composing the kind of love-verses ('numbers') that the Italian poet Petrarch wrote for his idealized beloved Laura. To drive home his point, he compares Rosaline to the great classical love-heroines — Dido, Cleopatra, Helen, Hero, Thisbe — and dismisses them all as drab harlots next to whatever Romeo imagines Rosaline to be.
historical Petrarch and the Petrarchan lover
TLN 1130classical allusion
“Dido, a dowdy; Cleopatra, a gypsy; Helen and Hero, hildings and harlots”
Mercutio runs through four of the ancient world's most famous beautiful women — Dido (queen of Carthage who died for love of Aeneas), Cleopatra (queen of Egypt), Helen of Troy, and Hero (priestess of Aphrodite who leapt into the sea when her lover Leander drowned) — and dismisses them all as tramps ('hildings and harlots') compared to Rosaline. 'Gypsy' meant a dark-complexioned deceiver.
classical Helen of Troy
TLN 1134archaic vocab
“French slop. You gave us the counterfeit fairly last night.”
'French slop' means wide, baggy breeches in the French fashion. 'Counterfeit' here means a counterfeit coin, i.e. a fake — Mercutio accuses Romeo of 'slipping' away last night the way a counterfeit coin 'slips' into circulation. Romeo's next line picks up 'slip' and the pun continues.
TLN 1165archaic vocab
“wit of cheveril, that stretches from an inch narrow to an ell broad”
Cheveril is soft kid-leather, famous for how easily it stretches. Mercutio says Romeo's wit is like a kid-leather glove: starting at 'an inch narrow' and stretching 'to an ell broad' (an ell was about 45 inches). The compliment is backhanded — the joke stretches thin to accommodate a pun.
TLN 1219archaic vocab
“saucy merchant was this that was so full of his ropery”
'Ropery' (also spelled 'roguery') means roguish, ribald talk or trickery — the kind of thing a 'roper' (a rogue or scoundrel) would say. The Nurse is asking Romeo who that fellow was who was so full of dirty jokes. 'Merchant' here is a mildly contemptuous word for a fellow, a man of no particular distinction.
TLN 1225archaic vocab
“I am none of his flirt-gills; I am none of his skains-mates”
The Nurse bristles at Mercutio's insults. 'Flirt-gills' are loose women or flirtatious girls — 'Gill' was a generic name for a lower-class woman, and to 'flirt' with someone meant to treat them with contempt as well as to trifle with them sexually. 'Skains-mates' (or 'scain's-mates') are probably companions of a 'skain' (a rogue or cutthroat), i.e. knife-carrying villains — the Nurse claims she is no associate of disreputable men.
TLN 1248historical topical
“devise some means to come to shrift This afternoon; And there she shall at Friar Lawrence' cell Be shriv'd and married”
To go to 'shrift' means to make sacramental confession to a priest and receive absolution — a Catholic sacrament. 'Shriv'd' is the past participle of 'shrive' (to hear confession and grant absolution). Friar Lawrence's cell serves as both confessional and wedding chapel; the cover story for Juliet's secret errand is that she is going to confession, which no Elizabethan Catholic family would question.
historical Shrift: the sacrament of confession
TLN 1257archaic vocab
“cords made like a tackled stair; Which to the high top-gallant of my joy”
Romeo tells the Nurse his servant will bring a rope-ladder ('cords made like a tackled stair') so he can climb to Juliet's window at night. 'Tackled stair' is a rope-ladder (one rigged with tackle, i.e. ropes and pulleys as on a ship). 'Top-gallant' is the very highest sail on a ship's mast, here a metaphor for the summit of Romeo's happiness — Juliet's window is the top of his world.
TLN 1276wordplay
“that's the dog's name. R is for the dog”
The Nurse points out that Romeo says both his name and 'rosemary' begin with the same letter, 'R.' She calls R 'the dog's name' because when spoken aloud it sounds like a dog's snarl or growl — in Latin grammar the letter R was called 'littera canina,' the dog's letter, because of its rolling, growling sound. The Nurse's malapropism ('sententious' for 'sentences') in TLN 1278 shows she has a garbled version of an educated quip.