Shakespeare Portal

Act 2, Scene 3

A field near Windsor.

  1. [Enter CAIUS and RUGBY.]
  2. Doctor Caius
  3. 871 Jack Rugby!
  4. Rugby
  5. 872 Sir?
  6. Doctor Caius
  7. 873 Vat is de clock, Jack?
  8. Rugby
  9. 874 'Tis past the hour, sir, that Sir Hugh promised to meet.
  10. Doctor Caius
  11. 875 By gar, he has save his soul, dat he is no come; he has pray his
  12. 876 Pible vell dat he is no come: by gar, Jack Rugby, he is dead
  13. 877 already, if he be come.
  14. Rugby
  15. 878 He is wise, sir; he knew your worship would kill him if he came.
  16. Doctor Caius
  17. 879 By gar, de herring is no dead so as I vill kill him. Take your
  18. 880 rapier, Jack; I vill tell you how I vill kill him.
  19. Rugby
  20. 881 Alas, sir, I cannot fence!
  21. Doctor Caius
  22. 882 Villany, take your rapier.
  23. Rugby
  24. 883 Forbear; here's company.
  25. [Enter HOST, SHALLOW, SLENDER, and PAGE.]
  26. Host of the Garter
  27. 884 Bless thee, bully doctor!
  28. Justice Shallow
  29. 885 Save you, Master Doctor Caius!
  30. Page
  31. 886 Now, good Master Doctor!
  32. Slender
  33. 887 Give you good morrow, sir.
  34. Doctor Caius
  35. 888 Vat be all you, one, two, tree, four, come for?
  36. Host of the Garter
  37. 889 To see thee fight, to see thee foin, to see thee traverse; to see
  38. 890 thee here, to see thee there; to see thee pass thy punto, thy stock,
  39. 891 thy reverse, thy distance, thy montant. Is he dead, my Ethiopian?
  40. 892 Is he dead, my Francisco? Ha, bully! What says my Aesculapius?
  41. 893 my Galen? my heart of elder? Ha! is he dead, bully stale? Is he
  42. 894 dead?
  43. Doctor Caius
  44. 895 By gar, he is de coward Jack priest of de world; he is not show
  45. 896 his face.
  46. Host of the Garter
  47. 897 Thou art a Castalion King Urinal! Hector of Greece, my boy!
  48. Doctor Caius
  49. 898 I pray you, bear witness that me have stay six or seven, two, tree
  50. 899 hours for him, and he is no come.
  51. Justice Shallow
  52. 900 He is the wiser man, Master doctor: he is a curer of souls, and you
  53. 901 a curer of bodies; if you should fight, you go against the hair of
  54. 902 your professions. Is it not true, Master Page?
  55. Page
  56. 903 Master Shallow, you have yourself been a great fighter, though now
  57. 904 a man of peace.
  58. Justice Shallow
  59. 905 Bodykins, Master Page, though I now be old, and of the peace, if
  60. 906 I see a sword out, my finger itches to make one. Though we are
  61. 907 justices, and doctors, and churchmen, Master Page, we have some
  62. 908 salt of our youth in us; we are the sons of women, Master Page.
  63. Page
  64. 909 'Tis true, Master Shallow.
  65. Justice Shallow
  66. 910 It will be found so, Master Page. Master Doctor Caius, I come to
  67. 911 fetch you home. I am sworn of the peace; you have showed yourself
  68. 912 a wise physician, and Sir Hugh hath shown himself a wise and
  69. 913 patient churchman. You must go with me, Master Doctor.
  70. Host of the Garter
  71. 914 Pardon, guest-justice.—A word, Monsieur Mockwater.
  72. Doctor Caius
  73. 915 Mock-vater! Vat is dat?
  74. Host of the Garter
  75. 916 Mockwater, in our English tongue, is valour, bully.
  76. Doctor Caius
  77. 917 By gar, then I have as much mockvater as de Englishman.—Scurvy
  78. 918 jack-dog priest! By gar, me vill cut his ears.
  79. Host of the Garter
  80. 919 He will clapper-claw thee tightly, bully.
  81. Doctor Caius
  82. 920 Clapper-de-claw! Vat is dat?
  83. Host of the Garter
  84. 921 That is, he will make thee amends.
  85. Doctor Caius
  86. 922 By gar, me do look he shall clapper-de-claw me; for, by gar, me
  87. 923 vill have it.
  88. Host of the Garter
  89. 924 And I will provoke him to't, or let him wag.
  90. Doctor Caius
  91. 925 Me tank you for dat.
  92. Host of the Garter
  93. 926 And, moreover, bully—but first: Master guest, and Master Page,
  94. 927 and eke Cavaliero Slender, go you through the town to Frogmore.
  95. [Aside to them.]
  96. Page
  97. 928 Sir Hugh is there, is he?
  98. Host of the Garter
  99. 929 He is there: see what humour he is in; and I will bring the
  100. 930 doctor about by the fields. Will it do well?
  101. Justice Shallow
  102. 931 We will do it.
  103. Justice Shallow
  104. 932 PAGE, SHALLOW, and SLENDER.
  105. 933 Adieu, good Master Doctor.
  106. [Exeunt PAGE, SHALLOW, and SLENDER.]
  107. Doctor Caius
  108. 934 By gar, me vill kill de priest; for he speak for a jack-an-ape
  109. 935 to Anne Page.
  110. Host of the Garter
  111. 936 Let him die. Sheathe thy impatience; throw cold water on thy choler;
  112. 937 go about the fields with me through Frogmore; I will bring thee
  113. 938 where Mistress Anne Page is, at a farm-house a-feasting; and thou
  114. 939 shalt woo her. Cried I aim? Said I well?
  115. Doctor Caius
  116. 940 By gar, me tank you for dat: by gar, I love you; and I shall
  117. 941 procure-a you de good guest, de earl, de knight, de lords, de
  118. 942 gentlemen, my patients.
  119. Host of the Garter
  120. 943 For the which I will be thy adversary toward Anne Page: said I well?
  121. Doctor Caius
  122. 944 By gar, 'tis good; vell said.
  123. Host of the Garter
  124. 945 Let us wag, then.
  125. Doctor Caius
  126. 946 Come at my heels, Jack Rugby.
  127. [Exeunt.]