Shakespeare Portal

Act 1, Scene 2

A street.

  1. [Enter Lucio and two Gentlemen.]
  2. Lucio
  3. 90 If the duke, with the other dukes, come not to composition
  4. 91 with the King of Hungary, why then all the dukes fall upon
  5. 92 the king.
  6. First Gentleman
  7. 93 Heaven grant us its peace, but not the King of Hungary's!
  8. Second Gentleman
  9. 94 Amen.
  10. Lucio
  11. 95 Thou concludest like the sanctimonious pirate that went to sea
  12. 96 with the ten
  13. 97 commandments, but scraped one out of the table.
  14. Second Gentleman
  15. 98 Thou shalt not steal?
  16. Lucio
  17. 99 Ay, that he razed.
  18. First Gentleman
  19. 100 Why, 'twas a commandment to command the captain and all the rest
  20. 101 from their
  21. 102 functions; they put forth to steal. There's not a soldier of us
  22. 103 all that, in
  23. 104 the thanksgiving before meat, do relish the petition well that
  24. 105 prays for
  25. 106 peace.
  26. Second Gentleman
  27. 107 I never heard any soldier dislike it.
  28. Lucio
  29. 108 I believe thee; for I think thou never wast where grace was said.
  30. Second Gentleman
  31. 109 No? A dozen times at least.
  32. First Gentleman
  33. 110 What? in metre?
  34. Lucio
  35. 111 In any proportion or in any language.
  36. First Gentleman
  37. 112 I think, or in any religion.
  38. Lucio
  39. 113 Ay! why not? Grace is grace, despite of all controversy. As, for
  40. 114 example;—thou
  41. 115 thyself art a wicked villain, despite of all grace.
  42. First Gentleman
  43. 116 Well, there went but a pair of shears between us.
  44. Lucio
  45. 117 I grant; as there may between the lists and the velvet. Thou art
  46. 118 the list.
  47. First Gentleman
  48. 119 And thou the velvet: thou art good velvet; thou'rt a three-piled
  49. 120 piece, I warrant thee: I had as lief be a list of an English
  50. 121 kersey as be piled, as thou art piled, for a French velvet.
  51. 122 Do I speak feelingly now?
  52. Lucio
  53. 123 I think thou dost; and, indeed, with most painful feeling of thy
  54. 124 speech. I will, out of thine own confession, learn to begin thy
  55. 125 health; but, whilst I live, forget to drink after thee.
  56. First Gentleman
  57. 126 I think I have done myself wrong; have I not?
  58. Second Gentleman
  59. 127 Yes, that thou hast, whether thou art tainted or free.
  60. Lucio
  61. 128 Behold, behold, where Madam Mitigation comes! I have purchased as
  62. 129 many diseases under her roof as come to—
  63. Second Gentleman
  64. 130 To what, I pray?
  65. First Gentleman
  66. 131 Judge.
  67. Second Gentleman
  68. 132 To three thousand dollars a year.
  69. First Gentleman
  70. 133 Ay, and more.
  71. Lucio
  72. 134 A French crown more.
  73. First Gentleman
  74. 135 Thou art always figuring diseases in me, but thou art full of
  75. 136 error; I am sound.
  76. Lucio
  77. 137 Nay, not, as one would say, healthy; but so sound as things that
  78. 138 are hollow: thy bones are hollow: impiety has made a feast of thee.
  79. [Enter BAWD.]
  80. First Gentleman
  81. 139 How now! which of your hips has the most profound sciatica?
  82. Mistress Overdone
  83. 140 Well, well; there's one yonder arrested and carried to prison was
  84. 141 worth five thousand of you all.
  85. First Gentleman
  86. 142 Who's that, I pray thee?
  87. Mistress Overdone
  88. 143 Marry, sir, that's Claudio, Signior Claudio.
  89. First Gentleman
  90. 144 Claudio to prison! 'tis not so.
  91. Mistress Overdone
  92. 145 Nay, but I know 'tis so: I saw him arrested; saw him carried
  93. 146 away; and, which is more, within these three days his head to
  94. 147 be chopped off.
  95. Lucio
  96. 148 But, after all this fooling, I would not have it so. Art thou
  97. 149 sure of this?
  98. Mistress Overdone
  99. 150 I am too sure of it: and it is for getting Madam Julietta with
  100. 151 child.
  101. Lucio
  102. 152 Believe me, this may be: he promised to meet me two hours since,
  103. 153 and he was ever precise in promise-keeping.
  104. Second Gentleman
  105. 154 Besides, you know, it draws something near to the speech we had
  106. 155 to such a purpose.
  107. First Gentleman
  108. 156 But most of all agreeing with the proclamation.
  109. Lucio
  110. 157 Away; let's go learn the truth of it.
  111. [Exeunt Lucio and Gentlemen.]
  112. Mistress Overdone
  113. 158 Thus, what with the war, what with the sweat, what with the
  114. 159 gallows, and what with poverty, I am custom-shrunk.
  115. 160 How now! what's the news with you?
  116. [Enter CLOWN.]
  117. Pompey
  118. 161 Yonder man is carried to prison.
  119. Mistress Overdone
  120. 162 Well: what has he done?
  121. Pompey
  122. 163 A woman.
  123. Mistress Overdone
  124. 164 But what's his offence?
  125. Pompey
  126. 165 Groping for trouts in a peculiar river.
  127. Mistress Overdone
  128. 166 What! is there a maid with child by him?
  129. Pompey
  130. 167 No; but there's a woman with maid by him. You have not heard of
  131. 168 the proclamation, have you?
  132. Mistress Overdone
  133. 169 What proclamation, man?
  134. Pompey
  135. 170 All houses in the suburbs of Vienna must be plucked down.
  136. Mistress Overdone
  137. 171 And what shall become of those in the city?
  138. Pompey
  139. 172 They shall stand for seed: they had gone down too, but that a
  140. 173 wise burgher put in for them.
  141. Mistress Overdone
  142. 174 But shall all our houses of resort in the suburbs be pulled down?
  143. Pompey
  144. 175 To the ground, mistress.
  145. Mistress Overdone
  146. 176 Why, here's a change indeed in the commonwealth! What shall
  147. 177 become of me?
  148. Pompey
  149. 178 Come, fear not you; good counsellors lack no clients: though you
  150. 179 change your place you need not change your trade; I'll be your
  151. 180 tapster still.
  152. 181 Courage; there will be pity taken on you: you that have worn your
  153. 182 eyes almost out in the service, you will be considered.
  154. Mistress Overdone
  155. 183 What's to do here, Thomas Tapster? Let's withdraw.
  156. Pompey
  157. 184 Here comes Signior Claudio, led by the provost to prison: and
  158. 185 there's Madam Juliet.
  159. [Exeunt.]