Act 3, Scene 1

The King of Navarre's park.

[Enter ARMADO and MOTH.]
Don Adriano de Armado
708 Warble, child; make passionate my sense of hearing.
[Singing.]
Moth
709 Concolinel,—
Don Adriano de Armado
710 Sweet air! Go, tenderness of years; take this key, give
711 enlargement to the swain, bring him festinately hither; I must
712 employ him in a letter to my love.
Moth
713 Master, will you win your love with a French brawl?
Don Adriano de Armado
714 How meanest thou? brawling in French?
Moth
715 No, my complete master; but to jig off a tune at the tongue's
716 end, canary to it with your feet, humour it with turning up your
717 eyelids, sigh a note and sing a note, sometime through the
718 throat, as if you swallowed love with singing love, sometime
719 through the nose, as if you snuffed up love by smelling love;
720 with your hat penthouse-like o'er the shop of your eyes, with
721 your arms crossed on your thin-belly doublet, like a rabbit on a
722 spit; or your hands in your pocket, like a man after the old
723 painting; and keep not too long in one tune, but a snip and away.
724 These are complements, these are humours; these betray nice
725 wenches, that would be betrayed without these; and make them men
726 of note,—do you note me?—that most are affected to these.
Don Adriano de Armado
727 How hast thou purchased this experience?
Moth
728 By my penny of observation.
Don Adriano de Armado
729 But O—but O,—
Moth
730 'The hobby-horse is forgot.'
Don Adriano de Armado
731 Call'st thou my love 'hobby-horse'?
Moth
732 No, master; the hobby-horse is but a colt, and your love
733 perhaps, a hackney. But have you forgot your love?
Don Adriano de Armado
734 Almost I had.
Moth
735 Negligent student! learn her by heart.
Don Adriano de Armado
736 By heart and in heart, boy.
Moth
737 And out of heart, master: all those three I will prove.
Don Adriano de Armado
738 What wilt thou prove?
Moth
739 A man, if I live; and this, by, in, and without, upon the
740 instant: by heart you love her, because your heart cannot come by
741 her; in heart you love her, because your heart is in love with
742 her; and out of heart you love her, being out of heart that you
743 cannot enjoy her.
Don Adriano de Armado
744 I am all these three.
Moth
745 And three times as much more, and yet nothing at all.
Don Adriano de Armado
746 Fetch hither the swain: he must carry me a letter.
Moth
747 A message well sympathized; a horse to be ambassador for an
748 ass.
Don Adriano de Armado
749 Ha, ha! what sayest thou?
Moth
750 Marry, sir, you must send the ass upon the horse, for he is
751 very slow-gaited. But I go.
Don Adriano de Armado
752 The way is but short: away!
Moth
753 As swift as lead, sir.
Don Adriano de Armado
754 The meaning, pretty ingenious?
755 Is not lead a metal heavy, dull, and slow?
Moth
756 Minime, honest master; or rather, master, no.
Don Adriano de Armado
757 I say lead is slow.
Moth
758 You are too swift, sir, to say so:
759 Is that lead slow which is fir'd from a gun?
Don Adriano de Armado
760 Sweet smoke of rhetoric!
761 He reputes me a cannon; and the bullet, that's he;
762 I shoot thee at the swain.
Moth
763 Thump then, and I flee.
[Exit.]
Don Adriano de Armado
764 A most acute juvenal; volable and free of grace!
765 By thy favour, sweet welkin, I must sigh in thy face:
766 Most rude melancholy, valour gives thee place.
767 My herald is return'd.
[Re-enter MOTH with COSTARD.]
Moth
768 A wonder, master! here's a costard broken in a shin.
Don Adriano de Armado
769 Some enigma, some riddle: come, thy l'envoy; begin.
Costard
770 No egma, no riddle, no l'envoy; no salve in the mail, sir.
771 O! sir, plantain, a plain plantain; no l'envoy, no l'envoy; no
772 salve, sir, but a plantain.
Don Adriano de Armado
773 By virtue thou enforcest laughter; thy silly thought, my
774 spleen; the heaving of my lungs provokes me to ridiculous
775 smiling: O! pardon me, my stars. Doth the inconsiderate take
776 salve for l'envoy, and the word l'envoy for a salve?
Moth
777 Do the wise think them other? Is not l'envoy a salve?
Don Adriano de Armado
778 No, page: it is an epilogue or discourse to make plain
779 Some obscure precedence that hath tofore been sain.
780 I will example it:
781 The fox, the ape, and the humble-bee,
782 Were still at odds, being but three.
783 There's the moral. Now the l'envoy.
Moth
784 I will add the l'envoy. Say the moral again.
Don Adriano de Armado
785 The fox, the ape, and the humble-bee,
786 Were still at odds, being but three.
Moth
787 Until the goose came out of door,
788 And stay'd the odds by adding four.
789 Now will I begin your moral, and do you follow with my l'envoy.
790 The fox, the ape, and the humble-bee,
791 Were still at odds, being but three.
Don Adriano de Armado
792 Until the goose came out of door,
793 Staying the odds by adding four.
Moth
794 A good l'envoy, ending in the goose; would you desire more?
Costard
795 The boy hath sold him a bargain, a goose, that's flat.
796 Sir, your pennyworth is good an your goose be fat.
797 To sell a bargain well is as cunning as fast and loose:
798 Let me see: a fat l'envoy; ay, that's a fat goose.
Don Adriano de Armado
799 Come hither, come hither. How did this argument begin?
Moth
800 By saying that a costard was broken in a shin.
801 Then call'd you for the l'envoy.
Costard
802 True, and I for a plantain: thus came your argument in;
803 Then the boy's fat l'envoy, the goose that you bought;
804 And he ended the market.
Don Adriano de Armado
805 But tell me; how was there a costard broken in a shin?
Moth
806 I will tell you sensibly.
Costard
807 Thou hast no feeling of it, Moth: I will speak that
808 l'envoy:
809 I, Costard, running out, that was safely within,
810 Fell over the threshold and broke my shin.
Don Adriano de Armado
811 We will talk no more of this matter.
Costard
812 Till there be more matter in the shin.
Don Adriano de Armado
813 Sirrah Costard. I will enfranchise thee.
Costard
814 O! marry me to one Frances: I smell some l'envoy, some
815 goose, in this.
Don Adriano de Armado
816 By my sweet soul, I mean setting thee at liberty,
817 enfreedoming thy person: thou wert immured, restrained,
818 captivated, bound.
Costard
819 True, true; and now you will be my purgation, and let me
820 loose.
Don Adriano de Armado
821 I give thee thy liberty, set thee from durance; and, in
822 lieu thereof, impose on thee nothing but this:—
[Giving a letter.]
Don Adriano de Armado
823 Bear this significant to the country maid Jaquenetta.
[Giving money.]
Don Adriano de Armado
824 there is remuneration; for the best ward of mine
825 honour is rewarding my dependents. Moth, follow.
[Exit.]
Moth
826 Like the sequel, I. Signior Costard, adieu.
Costard
827 My sweet ounce of man's flesh! my incony Jew!
[Exit MOTH.]
Costard
828 Now will I look to his remuneration. Remuneration! O! that's the
829 Latin word for three farthings: three farthings, remuneration.
830 'What's the price of this inkle?' 'One penny.' 'No, I'll give
831 you a remuneration.' Why, it carries it. Remuneration! Why, it is
832 a fairer name than French crown. I will never buy and sell out of
833 this word.
[Enter BEROWNE.]
Berowne
834 O! My good knave Costard, exceedingly well met.
Costard
835 Pray you, sir, how much carnation riband may a man buy for
836 a remuneration?
Berowne
837 What is a remuneration?
Costard
838 Marry, sir, halfpenny farthing.
Berowne
839 Why, then, three-farthing worth of silk.
Costard
840 I thank your worship. God be wi' you!
Berowne
841 Stay, slave; I must employ thee:
842 As thou wilt win my favour, good my knave,
843 Do one thing for me that I shall entreat.
Costard
844 When would you have it done, sir?
Berowne
845 O, this afternoon.
Costard
846 Well, I will do it, sir! fare you well.
Berowne
847 O, thou knowest not what it is.
Costard
848 I shall know, sir, when I have done it.
Berowne
849 Why, villain, thou must know first.
Costard
850 I will come to your worship to-morrow morning.
Berowne
851 It must be done this afternoon. Hark, slave, it is but this:
852 The princess comes to hunt here in the park,
853 And in her train there is a gentle lady;
854 When tongues speak sweetly, then they name her name,
855 And Rosaline they call her: ask for her
856 And to her white hand see thou do commend
857 This seal'd-up counsel.
[Gives him a shilling.]
Berowne
858 There's thy guerdon: go.
Costard
859 Gardon, O sweet gardon! better than remuneration; a
860 'leven-pence farthing better; most sweet gardon! I will do it,
861 sir, in print. Gardon- remuneration!
[Exit.]
Berowne
862 And I,—
863 Forsooth, in love; I, that have been love's whip;
864 A very beadle to a humorous sigh;
865 A critic, nay, a night-watch constable;
866 A domineering pedant o'er the boy,
867 Than whom no mortal so magnificent!
868 This wimpled, whining, purblind, wayward boy,
869 This senior-junior, giant-dwarf, Dan Cupid;
870 Regent of love-rimes, lord of folded arms,
871 The anointed sovereign of sighs and groans,
872 Liege of all loiterers and malcontents,
873 Dread prince of plackets, king of codpieces,
874 Sole imperator, and great general
875 Of trotting 'paritors: O my little heart!
876 And I to be a corporal of his field,
877 And wear his colours like a tumbler's hoop!
878 What! I love! I sue, I seek a wife!
879 A woman, that is like a German clock,
880 Still a-repairing, ever out of frame,
881 And never going aright, being a watch,
882 But being watch'd that it may still go right!
883 Nay, to be perjur'd, which is worst of all;
884 And, among three, to love the worst of all,
885 A wightly wanton with a velvet brow,
886 With two pitch balls stuck in her face for eyes;
887 Ay, and, by heaven, one that will do the deed,
888 Though Argus were her eunuch and her guard:
889 And I to sigh for her! to watch for her!
890 To pray for her! Go to; it is a plague
891 That Cupid will impose for my neglect
892 Of his almighty dreadful little might.
893 Well, I will love, write, sigh, pray, sue, and groan:
894 Some men must love my lady, and some Joan.
[Exit.]

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Notes

TLN 708archaic vocab
“Warble, child; make passionate my sense of hearing”
'Warble' means to sing, especially in an ornamental or trilling style. Armado commands Moth to perform, using the inflated diction that is his comic signature throughout the play.
TLN 709cultural context
“Concolinel,—”
'Concolinel' appears to be the title or opening word of a popular song Moth sings — its exact identity is unknown. No song with that name survives, and scholars have proposed it is a corruption of a French or Scottish ballad title.
TLN 711archaic vocab
“bring him festinately hither”
'Festinately' means hastily, with speed — from Latin festinare, to hurry. The word is a comic specimen of Armado's habit of reaching for a Latinate term when a plain English word ('quickly') would do just as well.
TLN 713wordplay
“win your love with a French brawl”
A 'French brawl' was a lively Elizabethan dance, distinct from 'brawling in French' (fighting). Moth exploits the double sense to offer mock-advice: woo Jaquenetta with dancing, sighing, and posturing — then skewers Armado's pompous romantic style with a list of its ridiculous ingredients.
historical Petrarch and the Petrarchan lover
TLN 720rhetorical device
“your hat penthouse-like o'er the shop of your eyes”
Moth piles up absurdly precise images for the lovelorn man's stock poses: the hat tipped forward like a sloping lean-to roof ('penthouse') over the 'shop' of the eyes, arms crossed on the chest like a rabbit on a spit. Each image deflates the romantic cliche by turning it into something small and slightly ridiculous.
TLN 724archaic vocab
“betray nice wenches, that would be betrayed without these”
'Nice' here means coy, fastidious, or affecting resistance — not 'pleasant.' 'Betray' means to catch or ensnare into love, not to deceive harmfully. Moth's joke is that women who pretend to hold back actually want to be won and use the lover's theatrical display as an excuse to give in.
TLN 730cultural context
“'The hobby-horse is forgot.'”
This appears to quote a popular Elizabethan complaint about May-game and morris-dance customs being suppressed by Puritan reformers: the hobby-horse — a costumed dancer who wore a wickerwork horse — was being driven out of the traditional summer festivals. To say 'the hobby-horse is forgot' was a recognized lament for a vanishing festivity.
TLN 739rhetorical device
“by, in, and without, upon the instant”
Moth performs a scholastic 'proof' — dividing Armado's love into three prepositional senses of the phrase 'by heart': by heart (knowing her), in heart (loving her), out of heart (despairing of her). The joke turns a simple idiom into a mock-logical disputation, parodying the Latin grammar-school exercise of arguing a proposition from multiple angles.
TLN 753wordplay
“As swift as lead, sir”
Armado calls lead 'slow' because of its weight; Moth turns the image: lead from a fired cannon is swift, so calling him 'swift as lead' means he is fast, not slow. The joke is a rhetorical trick called a sophism — an argument that is technically valid but exploits an equivocation.
TLN 764archaic vocab
“A most acute juvenal; volable and free of grace”
'Juvenal' here means a young person (from Latin juvenis, young), not the Roman satirist. 'Volable' means quick-tongued, glib, nimble in speech — it appears nowhere else in Shakespeare. Armado's aside admires Moth as a bright, sharp-tongued youngster.
TLN 769cultural context
“come, thy l'envoy; begin”
An 'envoy' (French l'envoi) was the concluding stanza of a medieval poem — a short summary or address that wrapped up and delivered the point of what came before, like a postscript. Armado mistakes Costard's injured shin for a riddle requiring a poetic 'envoy' to explain it; Costard mistakes 'l'envoy' for 'a salve' (ointment) for his wound.
TLN 773cultural context
“thy silly thought, my spleen; the heaving of my lungs provokes me to ridiculous smiling”
In Elizabethan anatomy, the spleen was believed to be the seat of laughter and of sudden, uncontrollable moods — not sadness, as in modern usage. 'My spleen' means 'my laughter'; Armado says Costard's stupidity has set his spleen heaving with helpless giggles that he is embarrassed to display.
TLN 813archaic vocab
“I will enfranchise thee”
To 'enfranchise' means to set free from constraint or custody — from Old French franchise, liberty. Armado piles up five near-synonyms for releasing Costard: 'enfranchise,' 'setting thee at liberty,' 'enfreedoming,' 'immured,' 'restrained,' 'captivated,' 'bound.' The comic effect is that where one word would do, Armado always finds five.
TLN 823archaic vocab
“Bear this significant to the country maid Jaquenetta”
'Significant' here is a noun meaning a token or letter that carries a meaning — a missive or dispatch. Armado uses a Latinate noun for what is plainly a love-letter, inflating the word to dignify what is actually a rather ridiculous errand.
TLN 858archaic vocab
“There's thy guerdon: go”
A 'guerdon' is a reward or recompense — an archaic, poetic-sounding word derived from Old French guerredon. When Costard hears Berowne say 'guerdon,' he mishears or mispronounces it as 'gardon' and proceeds to rank it against 'remuneration' as the better word because it is worth more money.
TLN 863rhetorical device
“I, that have been love's whip; A very beadle to a humorous sigh”
Berowne's soliloquy opens with a catalogue of the roles he has played as love's enforcer and critic. A 'beadle' was a parish officer who whipped minor offenders; to be 'a beadle to a humorous sigh' means to be the stern corrector of the love-sick and their 'moods' (humours). He has been the one who mocked lovers — and now he is one.
TLN 868classical allusion
“This wimpled, whining, purblind, wayward boy, This senior-junior, giant-dwarf, Dan Cupid”
Berowne piles up oxymorons and abusive epithets for Cupid, the Roman god of love: 'wimpled' (blindfolded), 'purblind' (nearly blind), 'senior-junior, giant-dwarf' (simultaneously ancient and infantile, all-powerful and tiny). 'Dan' is a title of respect (from Latin dominus, master), making 'Dan Cupid' an ironic 'Master Cupid.'
classical Cupid's golden and leaden arrows
TLN 879historical topical
“A woman, that is like a German clock, Still a-repairing, ever out of frame”
German mechanical clocks were famously elaborate and unreliable in Elizabethan England — admired for their craft but constantly breaking down. Berowne's dismissal of Rosaline as 'like a German clock' says she is ornate, high-maintenance, always out of order, and can only work if constantly watched. The comparison is cruel wit rather than genuine feeling.
TLN 888classical allusion
“Though Argus were her eunuch and her guard”
Argus was a many-eyed giant from Greek myth, set by Juno to watch Io (a young woman Juno suspected of attracting Jupiter's attentions); with eyes covering his whole body he could watch without ever sleeping. Berowne implies Rosaline is so determined to act on her desires that even the unsleeping Argus could not keep her in check.