Shakespeare Portal

Act 3, Scene 2

Gloucestershire. Before Justice Shallow's house.

  1. [Enter Shallow and Silence, meeting; Mouldy, Shadow, Wart, Feeble, Bullcalf, a Servant or two with them.]
  2. Justice Shallow
  3. 1384 Come on, come on, come on, sir; give me your hand, sir,
  4. 1385 give me your hand, sir: an early stirrer, by the rood! And how
  5. 1386 doth my good cousin Silence?
  6. Justice Silence
  7. 1387 Good morrow, good cousin Shallow.
  8. Justice Shallow
  9. 1388 And how doth my cousin, your bedfellow? and your fairest
  10. 1389 daughter and mine, my god-daughter Ellen?
  11. Justice Silence
  12. 1390 Alas, a black ousel, cousin Shallow!
  13. Justice Shallow
  14. 1391 By yea and nay, sir, I dare say my cousin William is become
  15. 1392 a good scholar: he is at Oxford still, is he not?
  16. Justice Silence
  17. 1393 Indeed, sir, to my cost.
  18. Justice Shallow
  19. 1394 A' must, then, to the inns o' court shortly. I was once of
  20. 1395 Clement's Inn, where I think they will talk of mad Shallow yet.
  21. Justice Silence
  22. 1396 You were called "lusty Shallow" then, cousin.
  23. Justice Shallow
  24. 1397 By the mass, I was called any thing; and I would have done any thing
  25. 1398 indeed too, and roundly too. There was I, and little John Doit of
  26. 1399 Staffordshire, and black George Barnes, and Francis Pickbone, and
  27. 1400 Will Squele, a Cotswold man; you had not four such swinge-bucklers in
  28. 1401 all the inns o' court again: and I may say to you, we knew where the
  29. 1402 bona-robas were and had the best of them all at commandment. Then was
  30. 1403 Jack Falstaff, now Sir John, boy, and page to Thomas Mowbray, Duke of
  31. 1404 Norfolk.
  32. Justice Silence
  33. 1405 This Sir John, cousin, that comes hither anon about soldiers?
  34. Justice Shallow
  35. 1406 The same Sir John, the very same. I see him break Skogan's head at the
  36. 1407 court-gate, when a' was a crack not thus high: and the very same
  37. 1408 day did I fight with one Sampson Stockfish, a fruiterer, behind
  38. 1409 Gray's Inn.
  39. 1410 Jesu, Jesu, the mad days that I have spent! and to see how many of my
  40. 1411 old acquaintance are dead!
  41. Justice Silence
  42. 1412 We shall all follow, cousin.
  43. Justice Shallow
  44. 1413 Certain, 'tis certain; very sure, very sure: death, as the Psalmist
  45. 1414 saith, is certain to all; all shall die. How a good yoke of bullocks at
  46. 1415 Stamford fair?
  47. Justice Silence
  48. 1416 By my troth, I was not there.
  49. Justice Shallow
  50. 1417 Death is certain. Is old Double of your town living yet?
  51. Justice Silence
  52. 1418 Dead, sir.
  53. Justice Shallow
  54. 1419 Jesu, Jesu, dead! a' drew a good bow; and dead! a' shot a fine shoot:
  55. 1420 John a Gaunt loved him well, and betted much money on his head.
  56. 1421 Dead! a' would have clapped i' the clout at twelve score; and carried
  57. 1422 you a forehand shaft a fourteen and fourteen and a half, that it
  58. 1423 would have done a man's heart good to see. How a score of ewes now?
  59. Justice Silence
  60. 1424 Thereafter as they be: a score of good ewes may be worth ten
  61. 1425 pounds.
  62. Justice Shallow
  63. 1426 And is old Double dead?
  64. Justice Silence
  65. 1427 Here come two of Sir John Falstaffs men, as I think.
  66. [Enter Bardolph, and one with him.]
  67. Bardolph
  68. 1428 Good morrow, honest gentlemen: I beseech you, which is justice
  69. 1429 Shallow?
  70. Justice Shallow
  71. 1430 I am Robert Shallow, sir; a poor esquire of this county, and one
  72. 1431 of the king's justices of the peace: what is your good pleasure
  73. 1432 with me?
  74. Bardolph
  75. 1433 My captain, sir, commends him to you; my captain, Sir John
  76. 1434 Falstaff, a tall gentleman, by heaven, and a most gallant leader.
  77. Justice Shallow
  78. 1435 He greets me well, sir. I knew him a good backsword man. How
  79. 1436 doth the good knight? may I ask how my lady his wife doth?
  80. Bardolph
  81. 1437 Sir, pardon; a soldier is better accommodated than with a wife.
  82. Justice Shallow
  83. 1438 It is well said, in faith, sir; and it is well said indeed too.
  84. 1439 Better accommodated! it is good; yea, indeed, is it: good phrases are
  85. 1440 surely, and ever were, very commendable. Accommodated! it comes of
  86. 1441 "accommodo:" very good; a good phrase.
  87. Bardolph
  88. 1442 Pardon me, sir; I have heard the word. Phrase call you it? By this
  89. 1443 day, I know not the phrase; but I will maintain the word with my sword
  90. 1444 to be a soldier-like word, and a word of exceeding good command, by
  91. 1445 heaven.
  92. 1446 Accommodated; that is, when a man is, as they say, accommodated; or
  93. 1447 when a man is, being, whereby a' may be thought to be accommodated;
  94. 1448 which is an excellent thing.
  95. Justice Shallow
  96. 1449 It is very just.
  97. [Enter Falstaff.]
  98. Justice Shallow
  99. 1450 Look, here comes good Sir John. Give me your good hand, give me your
  100. 1451 worship's good hand: by my troth, you like well and bear your years
  101. 1452 very well: welcome, good Sir John.
  102. Sir John Falstaff
  103. 1453 I am glad to see you well, good Master Robert Shallow: Master
  104. 1454 Surecard, as I think?
  105. Justice Shallow
  106. 1455 No, Sir John; it is my cousin Silence, in commission with me.
  107. Sir John Falstaff
  108. 1456 Good Master Silence, it well befits you should be of the peace.
  109. Justice Silence
  110. 1457 Your good worship is welcome.
  111. Sir John Falstaff
  112. 1458 Fie! this is hot weather, gentlemen. Have you provided me here
  113. 1459 half a dozen sufficient men?
  114. Justice Shallow
  115. 1460 Marry, have we, sir. Will you sit?
  116. Sir John Falstaff
  117. 1461 Let me see them, I beseech you.
  118. Justice Shallow
  119. 1462 Where's the roll? where's the roll? where's the roll? Let me see,
  120. 1463 let me see, let me see.
  121. 1464 So, so, so, so, so, so, so: yea, marry, sir: Ralph Mouldy!
  122. 1465 Let them appear as I call; let them do so, let them do so.
  123. 1466 Let me see; where is Mouldy?
  124. Ralph Mouldy
  125. 1467 Here, an't please you.
  126. Justice Shallow
  127. 1468 What think you, Sir John? a good-limbed fellow; young, strong,
  128. 1469 and of good friends.
  129. Sir John Falstaff
  130. 1470 Is thy name Mouldy?
  131. Ralph Mouldy
  132. 1471 Yea, an't please you.
  133. Sir John Falstaff
  134. 1472 'Tis the more time thou wert used.
  135. Justice Shallow
  136. 1473 Ha, ha, ha! most excellent, i' faith! things that are mouldy lack use:
  137. 1474 very singular good! in faith, well said, Sir John, very well said.
  138. Sir John Falstaff
  139. 1475 Prick him.
  140. Ralph Mouldy
  141. 1476 I was prick'd well enough before, an you could have let me alone:
  142. 1477 my old dame will be undone now for one to do her husbandry and her
  143. 1478 drudgery: you need not to have pricked me; there are other men fitter
  144. 1479 to go out than I.
  145. Sir John Falstaff
  146. 1480 Go to: peace, Mouldy; you shall go. Mouldy, it is time you were spent.
  147. Ralph Mouldy
  148. 1481 Spent!
  149. Justice Shallow
  150. 1482 Peace, fellow, peace; stand aside: know you where you are? For
  151. 1483 the other, Sir John: let me see: Simon Shadow!
  152. Sir John Falstaff
  153. 1484 Yea, marry, let me have him to sit under: he 's like to be a
  154. 1485 cold soldier.
  155. Justice Shallow
  156. 1486 Where's Shadow?
  157. Simon Shadow
  158. 1487 Here, sir.
  159. Sir John Falstaff
  160. 1488 Shadow, whose son art thou?
  161. Simon Shadow
  162. 1489 My mother's son, sir.
  163. Sir John Falstaff
  164. 1490 Thy mother's son! like enough; and thy father's shadow: so the son of
  165. 1491 the female is the shadow of the male: it is often so indeed; but
  166. 1492 much of the father's substance!
  167. Justice Shallow
  168. 1493 Do you like him, Sir John?
  169. Sir John Falstaff
  170. 1494 Shadow will serve for summer; prick him; for we have a number of
  171. 1495 shadows to fill up the muster-book.
  172. Justice Shallow
  173. 1496 Thomas Wart!
  174. Sir John Falstaff
  175. 1497 Where's he?
  176. Thomas Wart
  177. 1498 Here, sir.
  178. Sir John Falstaff
  179. 1499 Is thy name Wart?
  180. Thomas Wart
  181. 1500 Yea, sir.
  182. Sir John Falstaff
  183. 1501 Thou art a very ragged wart.
  184. Justice Shallow
  185. 1502 Shall I prick him down, Sir John?
  186. Sir John Falstaff
  187. 1503 It were superfluous; for his apparel is built upon his back and
  188. 1504 the whole frame stands upon pins: prick him no more.
  189. Justice Shallow
  190. 1505 Ha, ha, ha! you can do it, sir; you can do it: I commend you
  191. 1506 well.
  192. 1507 Francis Feeble!
  193. Francis Feeble
  194. 1508 Here, sir.
  195. Sir John Falstaff
  196. 1509 What trade art thou, Feeble?
  197. Francis Feeble
  198. 1510 A woman's tailor, sir.
  199. Justice Shallow
  200. 1511 Shall I prick him, sir?
  201. Sir John Falstaff
  202. 1512 You may: but if he had been a man's tailor, he'ld ha' prick'd you.
  203. 1513 Wilt thou make as many holes in an enemy's battle as thou hast done in
  204. 1514 a woman's petticoat?
  205. Francis Feeble
  206. 1515 I will do my good will, sir; you can have no more.
  207. Sir John Falstaff
  208. 1516 Well said, good woman's tailor! well said, courageous Feeble! thou wilt
  209. 1517 be as valiant as the wrathful dove or most magnanimous mouse.
  210. 1518 Prick the woman's tailor: well, Master Shallow, deep, Master Shallow.
  211. Francis Feeble
  212. 1519 I would Wart might have gone, sir.
  213. Sir John Falstaff
  214. 1520 I would thou wert a man's tailor, that thou mightst mend him and make
  215. 1521 him fit to go. I cannot put him to a private soldier that is the leader
  216. 1522 of so many thousands; let that suffice, most forcible Feeble.
  217. Francis Feeble
  218. 1523 It shall suffice, sir.
  219. Sir John Falstaff
  220. 1524 I am bound to thee, reverend Feeble. Who is next?
  221. Justice Shallow
  222. 1525 Peter Bullcalf o' th' green!
  223. Sir John Falstaff
  224. 1526 Yea, marry, let 's see Bullcalf.
  225. Peter Bullcalf
  226. 1527 Here, sir.
  227. Sir John Falstaff
  228. 1528 'Fore God, a likely fellow! Come, prick me Bullcalf till he roar
  229. 1529 again.
  230. Peter Bullcalf
  231. 1530 O Lord! good my lord captain,—
  232. Sir John Falstaff
  233. 1531 What, dost thou roar before thou art prick'd?
  234. Peter Bullcalf
  235. 1532 O Lord, sir! I am a diseased man.
  236. Sir John Falstaff
  237. 1533 What disease hast thou?
  238. Peter Bullcalf
  239. 1534 A whoreson cold, sir, a cough, sir, which I caught with ringing
  240. 1535 in the king's affairs upon his coronation-day, sir.
  241. Sir John Falstaff
  242. 1536 Come, thou shalt go to the wars in a gown; we will have away thy cold;
  243. 1537 and I will take such order that thy friends shall ring for thee.
  244. 1538 Is here all?
  245. Justice Shallow
  246. 1539 Here is two more called than your number; you must have but four here,
  247. 1540 sir; and so, I pray you, go in with me to dinner.
  248. Sir John Falstaff
  249. 1541 Come, I will go drink with you, but I cannot tarry dinner. I am
  250. 1542 glad to see you, by my troth, Master Shallow.
  251. Justice Shallow
  252. 1543 O, Sir John, do you remember since we lay all night in the windmill
  253. 1544 in Saint George's field?
  254. Sir John Falstaff
  255. 1545 No more of that, Master Shallow, no more of that.
  256. Justice Shallow
  257. 1546 Ha, 'twas a merry night. And is Jane Nightwork alive?
  258. Sir John Falstaff
  259. 1547 She lives, Master Shallow.
  260. Justice Shallow
  261. 1548 She never could away with me.
  262. Sir John Falstaff
  263. 1549 Never, never; she would always say she could not abide Master
  264. 1550 Shallow.
  265. Justice Shallow
  266. 1551 By the mass, I could anger her to the heart. She was then a bona-roba.
  267. 1552 Doth she hold her own well?
  268. Sir John Falstaff
  269. 1553 Old, old, Master Shallow.
  270. Justice Shallow
  271. 1554 Nay, she must be old; she cannot choose but be old; certain she 's old;
  272. 1555 and had Robin Nightwork by old Nightwork before I came to Clement's Inn.
  273. Justice Silence
  274. 1556 That's fifty-five year ago.
  275. Justice Shallow
  276. 1557 Ha, cousin Silence, that thou hadst seen that that this knight and I
  277. 1558 have seen! Ha, Sir John, said I well?
  278. Sir John Falstaff
  279. 1559 We have heard the chimes at midnight, Master Shallow.
  280. Justice Shallow
  281. 1560 That we have, that we have, that we have; in faith, Sir John, we have:
  282. 1561 our watchword was "Hem boys!" Come, let 's to dinner; come, let 's
  283. 1562 to dinner: Jesus, the days that we have seen! Come, come.
  284. [Exeunt Falstaff and the Justices.]
  285. Peter Bullcalf
  286. 1563 Good Master Corporate Bardolph, stand my friend; and here 's four
  287. 1564 Harry ten shillings in French crowns for you.
  288. 1565 In very truth, sir, I had as lief be hanged, sir, as go: and yet,
  289. 1566 for mine own part, sir, I do not care; but rather, because I am
  290. 1567 unwilling, and, for mine own part, have a desire to stay with my
  291. 1568 friends; else, sir, I did not care, for mine own part, so much.
  292. Bardolph
  293. 1569 Go to; stand aside.
  294. Ralph Mouldy
  295. 1570 And, good master corporal captain, for my old dame's sake, stand my
  296. 1571 friend: she has nobody to do any thing about her when I am gone;
  297. 1572 and she is old, and cannot help herself: you shall have forty, sir.
  298. Bardolph
  299. 1573 Go to; stand aside.
  300. Francis Feeble
  301. 1574 By my troth, I care not; a man can die but once; we owe God a death:
  302. 1575 I'll ne'er bear a base mind: an 't be my destiny, so; an 't be not, so:
  303. 1576 no man's too good to serve 's prince; and let it go which way it will, he
  304. 1577 that dies this year is quit for the next.
  305. Bardolph
  306. 1578 Well said; th'art a good fellow.
  307. Francis Feeble
  308. 1579 Faith, I'll bear no base mind.
  309. [Re-enter Falstaff and the Justices.]
  310. Sir John Falstaff
  311. 1580 Come, sir, which men shall I have?
  312. Justice Shallow
  313. 1581 Four of which you please.
  314. Bardolph
  315. 1582 Sir, a word with you: I have three pound to free Mouldy and
  316. 1583 Bullcalf.
  317. Sir John Falstaff
  318. 1584 Go to; well.
  319. Justice Shallow
  320. 1585 Come, Sir John, which four will you have?
  321. Sir John Falstaff
  322. 1586 Do you choose for me.
  323. Justice Shallow
  324. 1587 Marry, then, Mouldy, Bullcalf, Feeble, and Shadow.
  325. Sir John Falstaff
  326. 1588 Mouldy and Bullcalf: for you, Mouldy, stay at home till you are past
  327. 1589 service; and for your part, Bullcalf, grow till you come unto it:
  328. 1590 I will none of you.
  329. Justice Shallow
  330. 1591 Sir John, Sir John, do not yourself wrong: they are your likeliest
  331. 1592 men, and I would have you served with the best.
  332. Sir John Falstaff
  333. 1593 Will you tell me, Master Shallow, how to choose a man? Care I for the
  334. 1594 limb, the thewes, the stature, bulk, and big assemblance of a man!
  335. 1595 Give me the spirit, Master Shallow. Here's Wart; you see what a ragged
  336. 1596 appearance it is: a' shall charge you and discharge you with the
  337. 1597 motion of a pewterer's hammer, come off and on swifter than he that
  338. 1598 gibbets on the brewer's bucket.
  339. 1599 And this same half-faced fellow, Shadow; give me this man: he
  340. 1600 presents no mark to the enemy; the foeman may with as great aim level
  341. 1601 at the edge of a penknife.
  342. 1602 And for a retreat; how swiftly will this Feeble the woman's tailor
  343. 1603 run off! O, give me the spare men, and spare me the great ones.
  344. 1604 Put me a caliver into Wart's hand, Bardolph.
  345. Bardolph
  346. 1605 Hold, Wart, traverse; thus, thus, thus.
  347. Sir John Falstaff
  348. 1606 Come, manage me your caliver. So: very well: go to: very good,
  349. 1607 exceeding good. O, give me always a little, lean, old, chapt,
  350. 1608 bald shot. Well said, i' faith, Wart; thou'rt a good scab: hold,
  351. 1609 there's a tester for thee.
  352. Justice Shallow
  353. 1610 He is not his craft's master; he doth not do it right. I remember at
  354. 1611 Mile-end Green, when I lay at Clement's Inn,—I was then Sir Dagonet in
  355. 1612 Arthur's show,—there was a little quiver fellow, and a' would manage
  356. 1613 you his piece thus; and a' would about and about, and come you in and
  357. 1614 come you in: "rah, tah, tah," would a' say; "bounce" would a' say; and
  358. 1615 away again would a' go, and again would 'a come: I shall ne'er see
  359. 1616 such a fellow.
  360. Sir John Falstaff
  361. 1617 These fellows will do well. Master Shallow, God keep you, Master Silence:
  362. 1618 I will not use many words with you. Fare you well, gentlemen both:
  363. 1619 I thank you: I must a dozen mile to-night. Bardolph, give the soldiers
  364. 1620 coats.
  365. Justice Shallow
  366. 1621 Sir John, the Lord bless you! God prosper your affairs! God send us
  367. 1622 peace! At your return visit our house; let our old acquaintance be
  368. 1623 renewed: peradventure I will with ye to the court.
  369. Sir John Falstaff
  370. 1624 'Fore God, I would you would.
  371. Justice Shallow
  372. 1625 Go to; I have spoke at a word. God keep you.
  373. Sir John Falstaff
  374. 1626 Fare you well, gentle gentlemen.
  375. [Exeunt Justices.]
  376. Sir John Falstaff
  377. 1627 On, Bardolph; lead the men away.
  378. [Exeunt Bardolph, Recruits, &c.]
  379. Sir John Falstaff
  380. 1628 As I return, I will fetch off these justices: I do see the bottom
  381. 1629 of Justice Shallow.
  382. 1630 Lord, Lord, how subject we old men are to this vice of lying!
  383. 1631 This same starved justice hath done nothing but prate to me of the
  384. 1632 wildness of his youth, and the feats he hath done about Turnbull
  385. 1633 Street; and every third word a lie, duer paid to the hearer than the
  386. 1634 Turk's tribute. I do remember him at Clement's Inn like a man made
  387. 1635 after supper of a cheese-paring: when a' was naked, he was, for all
  388. 1636 the world, like a fork'd radish, with a head fantastically carved upon
  389. 1637 it with a knife: a' was so forlorn, that his dimensions to any thick
  390. 1638 sight were invincible: a' was the very genius of famine; yet lecherous
  391. 1639 as a monkey, and the whores called him mandrake: a' came ever in the
  392. 1640 rearward of the fashion, and sung those tunes to the overscutch'd
  393. 1641 huswifes that he heard the carmen whistle, and sware they were his
  394. 1642 fancies or his good-nights.
  395. 1643 And now is this Vice's dagger become a squire, and talks as familiarly
  396. 1644 of John a Gaunt as if he had been sworn brother to him; and I'll be
  397. 1645 sworn a' ne'er saw him but once in the Tilt-yard; and then he burst
  398. 1646 his head for crowding among the marshal's men.
  399. 1647 I saw it, and told John a Gaunt he beat his own name; for you might
  400. 1648 have thrust him and all his apparel into an eel-skin; the case of a
  401. 1649 treble hautboy was a mansion for him, a court: and now has he land
  402. 1650 and beefs.
  403. 1651 Well, I'll be acquainted with him, if I return; and it shall go hard
  404. 1652 but I'll make him a philosopher's two stones to me: if the young dace
  405. 1653 be a bait for the old pike, I see no reason in the law of nature but I
  406. 1654 may snap at him.
  407. 1655 Let time shape, and there an end.
  408. [Exit.]