Act 2, Scene 4

Eastcheap. A Room in the Boar's-Head Tavern.

[Enter Prince Henry.]
Prince Hal
889 Ned, pr'ythee, come out of that fat room, and lend me thy
890 hand to laugh a little.
[Enter Pointz.]
Poins
891 Where hast been, Hal?
Prince Hal
892 With three or four loggerheads amongst three or fourscore
893 hogsheads. I have sounded the very base-string of humility.
894 Sirrah, I am sworn brother to a leash of drawers; and can call
895 them all by their Christian names, as, Tom, Dick, and Francis.
896 They take it already upon their salvation, that though I be but
897 Prince of Wales, yet I am the king of courtesy; and tell me flatly
898 I am no proud Jack, like Falstaff, but a corinthian, a lad of mettle,
899 a good boy,—by the Lord, so they call me;—and, when I am King
900 of England, I shall command all the good lads in Eastcheap. They
901 call drinking deep, dying scarlet; and, when you breathe in your
902 watering, they cry hem! and bid you play it off. To conclude, I am
903 so good a proficient in one quarter of an hour, that I can drink with
904 any tinker in his own language during my life. I tell thee, Ned, thou
905 hast lost much honour, that thou wert not with me in this action. But,
906 sweet Ned,—to sweeten which name of Ned, I give thee this pennyworth
907 of sugar, clapp'd even now into my hand by an under-skinker; one that
908 never spake other English in his life than Eight shillings and sixpence,
909 and You are welcome; with this shrill addition, Anon, anon, sir! Score
910 a pint of bastard in the Half-moon,—or so. But, Ned, to drive away
911 the time till Falstaff come, I pr'ythee, do thou stand in some by-room,
912 while I question my puny drawer to what end he gave me the sugar;
913 and do thou never leave calling Francis! that his tale to me may be
914 nothing but Anon. Step aside, and I'll show thee a precedent.
[Exit Pointz.]
[Within.]
Poins
915 Francis!
Prince Hal
916 Thou art perfect.
[Within.]
Poins
917 Francis!
[Enter Francis.]
Francis
918 Anon, anon, sir.—Look down into the Pomegranate, Ralph.
Prince Hal
919 Come hither, Francis.
Francis
920 My lord?
Prince Hal
921 How long hast thou to serve, Francis?
Francis
922 Forsooth, five years, and as much as to—
[within.]
Poins
923 Francis!
Francis
924 Anon, anon, sir.
Prince Hal
925 Five year! by'r Lady, a long lease for the clinking of
926 pewter. But, Francis, darest thou be so valiant as to play
927 the coward with thy indenture and show it a fair pair of heels
928 and run from it?
Francis
929 O Lord, sir, I'll be sworn upon all the books in England,
930 I could find in my heart—
[within.]
Poins
931 Francis!
Francis
932 Anon, anon, sir.
Prince Hal
933 How old art thou, Francis?
Francis
934 Let me see,—about Michaelmas next I shall be—
[within.]
Poins
935 Francis!
Francis
936 Anon, sir.—Pray you, stay a little, my lord.
Prince Hal
937 Nay, but hark you, Francis: for the sugar thou gavest
938 me, 'twas a pennyworth, was't not?
Francis
939 O Lord, sir, I would it had been two!
Prince Hal
940 I will give thee for it a thousand pound: ask me when
941 thou wilt, and thou shalt have it.
[within.]
Poins
942 Francis!
Francis
943 Anon, anon.
Prince Hal
944 Anon, Francis? No, Francis; but to-morrow, Francis; or,
945 Francis, a Thursday; or, indeed, Francis, when thou wilt. But,
946 Francis,—
Francis
947 My lord?
Prince Hal
948 —wilt thou rob this leathern-jerkin, crystal-button,
949 nott-pated, agate-ring, puke-stocking, caddis-garter,
950 smooth-tongue, Spanish-pouch,—
Francis
951 O Lord, sir, who do you mean?
Prince Hal
952 Why, then, your brown bastard is your only drink; for,
953 look you, Francis, your white canvas doublet will sully: in
954 Barbary, sir, it cannot come to so much.
Francis
955 What, sir?
[within.]
Poins
956 Francis!
Prince Hal
957 Away, you rogue! dost thou not hear them call?
[Here they both call him; Francis stands amazed, not knowing which way to go.]
[Enter Vintner.]
Vintner
958 What, stand'st thou still, and hear'st such a calling? Look
959 to the guests within.
[Exit Francis.]
Vintner
960 —My lord, old Sir John,
961 with half-a-dozen more, are at the door: shall I let them in?
Prince Hal
962 Let them alone awhile, and then open the door.
[Exit Vintner.]
Prince Hal
963 Pointz!
[Re-enter Pointz.]
Poins
964 Anon, anon, sir.
Prince Hal
965 Sirrah, Falstaff and the rest of the thieves are at the
966 door: shall we be merry?
Poins
967 As merry as crickets, my lad. But hark ye; what cunning
968 match have you made with this jest of the drawer? Come,
969 what's the issue?
Prince Hal
970 I am now of all humours that have showed themselves humours
971 since the old days of goodman Adam to the pupil age of this
972 present twelve o'clock at midnight.—What's o'clock, Francis?
[Within.]
Francis
973 Anon, anon, sir.
Prince Hal
974 That ever this fellow should have fewer words than a parrot, and
975 yet the son of a woman! His industry is up-stairs and down-stairs;
976 his eloquence the parcel of a reckoning. I am not yet of Percy's
977 mind, the Hotspur of the North; he that kills me some six or seven
978 dozen of Scots at a breakfast, washes his hands, and says to his wife,
979 Fie upon this quiet life! I want work. O my sweet Harry, says she,
980 how many hast thou kill'd to-day? Give my roan horse a drench,
981 says he; and answers, Some fourteen, an hour after,—a trifle, a
982 trifle.
983 I pr'ythee, call in Falstaff: I'll play Percy, and that damn'd
984 brawn shall play Dame Mortimer his wife. Rivo! says the drunkard.
985 Call in ribs, call in tallow.
[Enter Falstaff, Gadshill, Bardolph, and Peto; followed by Francis with wine.]
Poins
986 Welcome, Jack: where hast thou been?
Sir John Falstaff
987 A plague of all cowards, I say, and a vengeance too! marry, and
988 amen!—
989 Give me a cup of sack, boy.—Ere I lead this life long, I'll sew
990 nether-stocks, and mend them and foot them too. A plague of all
991 cowards!—
992 Give me a cup of sack, rogue.—Is there no virtue extant?
[Drinks.]
Prince Hal
993 Didst thou never see Titan kiss a dish of butter? pitiful-hearted
994 butter, that melted at the sweet tale of the Sun! if thou didst,
995 then behold that compound.
Sir John Falstaff
996 You rogue, here's lime in this sack too: there is nothing but roguery
997 to be found in villainous man: yet a coward is worse than a cup of
998 sack with lime in it, a villanous coward.—Go thy ways, old Jack: die
999 when thou wilt, if manhood, good manhood, be not forgot upon the face
1000 of the Earth, then am I a shotten herring. There live not three good
1001 men unhang'd in England; and one of them is fat, and grows old: God
1002 help the while! a bad world, I say.
1003 I would I were a weaver; I could sing psalms or any thing. A plague of
1004 all cowards! I say still.
Prince Hal
1005 How now, wool-sack? what mutter you?
Sir John Falstaff
1006 A king's son! If I do not beat thee out of thy kingdom with a dagger
1007 of lath, and drive all thy subjects afore thee like a flock of
1008 wild-geese, I'll never wear hair on my face more. You Prince of Wales!
Prince Hal
1009 Why, you whoreson round man, what's the matter?
Sir John Falstaff
1010 Are not you a coward? answer me to that:—and Pointz there?
Poins
1011 Zwounds, ye fat paunch, an ye call me coward, by the Lord, I'll
1012 stab thee.
Sir John Falstaff
1013 I call thee coward! I'll see thee damn'd ere I call thee coward:
1014 but I would give a thousand pound, I could run as fast as thou canst.
1015 You are straight enough in the shoulders; you care not who sees your
1016 back: call you that backing of your friends? A plague upon such
1017 backing! give me them that will face me.—Give me a cup of sack:
1018 I am a rogue, if I drunk to-day.
Prince Hal
1019 O villain! thy lips are scarce wiped since thou drunk'st last.
Sir John Falstaff
1020 All is one for that. A plague of all cowards! still say I.
[Drinks.]
Prince Hal
1021 What's the matter?
Sir John Falstaff
1022 What's the matter? there be four of us here have ta'en a thousand
1023 pound this day morning.
Prince Hal
1024 Where is it, Jack? where is it?
Sir John Falstaff
1025 Where is it! taken from us it is: a hundred upon poor four of us!
Prince Hal
1026 What, a hundred, man?
Sir John Falstaff
1027 I am a rogue, if I were not at half-sword with a dozen of them two
1028 hours together. I have 'scaped by miracle. I am eight times thrust
1029 through the doublet, four through the hose; my buckler cut through
1030 and through; my sword hack'd like a hand-saw,—ecce signum! I never
1031 dealt better since I was a man: all would not do. A plague of all
1032 cowards! Let them speak: if they speak more or less than truth,
1033 they are villains and the sons of darkness.
Prince Hal
1034 Speak, sirs; how was it?
Gadshill
1035 We four set upon some dozen,—
Sir John Falstaff
1036 Sixteen at least, my lord.
Gadshill
1037 —and bound them.
Peto
1038 No, no; they were not bound.
Sir John Falstaff
1039 You rogue, they were bound, every man of them; or I am a Jew
1040 else, an Ebrew Jew.
Gadshill
1041 As we were sharing, some six or seven fresh men sea upon us,—
Sir John Falstaff
1042 And unbound the rest, and then come in the other.
Prince Hal
1043 What, fought you with them all?
Sir John Falstaff
1044 All? I know not what you call all; but if I fought not with fifty
1045 of them, I am a bunch of radish: if there were not two or three
1046 and fifty upon poor old Jack, then am I no two-legged creature.
Prince Hal
1047 Pray God you have not murdered some of them.
Sir John Falstaff
1048 Nay, that's past praying for: I have pepper'd two of them; two I
1049 am sure I have paid, two rogues in buckram suits. I tell thee what,
1050 Hal, if I tell thee a lie, spit in my face, call me horse.
1051 Thou knowest my old ward: here I lay, and thus I bore my point.
1052 Four rogues in buckram let drive at me,—
Prince Hal
1053 What, four? thou saidst but two even now.
Sir John Falstaff
1054 Four, Hal; I told thee four.
Poins
1055 Ay, ay, he said four.
Sir John Falstaff
1056 These four came all a-front, and mainly thrust at me. I made me no more
1057 ado but took all their seven points in my target, thus.
Prince Hal
1058 Seven? why, there were but four even now.
Sir John Falstaff
1059 In buckram?
Poins
1060 Ay, four, in buckram suits.
Sir John Falstaff
1061 Seven, by these hilts, or I am a villain else.
[aside to Pointz.]
Prince Hal
1062 Pr'ythee let him alone; we shall have more
1063 anon.
Sir John Falstaff
1064 Dost thou hear me, Hal?
Prince Hal
1065 Ay, and mark thee too, Jack.
Sir John Falstaff
1066 Do so, for it is worth the listening to. These nine in buckram
1067 that I told thee of,—
Prince Hal
1068 So, two more already.
Sir John Falstaff
1069 —their points being broken,—
Poins
1070 Down fell their hose.
Sir John Falstaff
1071 —began to give me ground: but I followed me close, came in foot
1072 and hand; and with a thought seven of the eleven I paid.
Prince Hal
1073 O monstrous! eleven buckram men grown out of two!
Sir John Falstaff
1074 But, as the Devil would have it, three misbegotten knaves in Kendal
1075 Green came at my back and let drive at me; for it was so dark, Hal,
1076 that thou couldst not see thy hand.
Prince Hal
1077 These lies are like the father that begets them, gross as a mountain,
1078 open, palpable. Why, thou nott-pated fool, thou whoreson, obscene
1079 greasy tallow-keech,—
Sir John Falstaff
1080 What, art thou mad? art thou mad? is not the truth the truth?
Prince Hal
1081 Why, how couldst thou know these men in Kendal green, when it was
1082 so dark thou couldst not see thy hand? come, tell us your reason:
1083 what sayest thou to this?
Poins
1084 Come, your reason, Jack, your reason.
Sir John Falstaff
1085 What, upon compulsion? No; were I at the strappado, or all the racks
1086 in the world, I would not tell you on compulsion. Give you a reason on
1087 compulsion! if reasons were as plentiful as blackberries, I would
1088 give no man a reason upon compulsion, I.
Prince Hal
1089 I'll be no longer guilty of this sin; this sanguine coward, this
1090 bed-presser, this horse-back-breaker, this huge hill of flesh,—
Sir John Falstaff
1091 Away, you starveling, you eel-skin, you dried neat's-tongue, you
1092 stock-fish,—
1093 O, for breath to utter what is like thee!—you tailor's-yard, you
1094 sheath, you bow-case, you vile standing tuck,—
Prince Hal
1095 Well, breathe awhile, and then to it again: and, when thou hast
1096 tired thyself in base comparisons, hear me speak but this:—
Poins
1097 Mark, Jack.
Prince Hal
1098 —We two saw you four set on four; you bound them, and were masters of
1099 their wealth.—Mark now, how a plain tale shall put you down.—
1100 Then did we two set on you four; and, with a word, outfaced you from
1101 your prize, and have it; yea, and can show it you here in the house:
1102 and, Falstaff, you carried yourself away as nimbly, with as quick
1103 dexterity, and roared for mercy, and still ran and roar'd, as ever I
1104 heard bull-calf. What a slave art thou, to hack thy sword as thou
1105 hast done, and then say it was in fight!
1106 What trick, what device, what starting-hole canst thou now find
1107 out to hide thee from this open and apparent shame?
Poins
1108 Come, let's hear, Jack; what trick hast thou now?
Sir John Falstaff
1109 By the Lord, I knew ye as well as he that made ye. Why, hear ye,
1110 my masters:
1111 Was it for me to kill the heir-apparent? should I turn upon the
1112 true Prince? why, thou knowest I am as valiant as Hercules: but
1113 beware instinct; the lion will not touch the true Prince.
1114 Instinct is a great matter; I was now a coward on instinct.
1115 I shall think the better of myself and thee during my life; I for a
1116 valiant lion, and thou for a true prince. But, by the Lord, lads,
1117 I am glad you have the money.—
[To Hostess within.]
Sir John Falstaff
1118 Hostess, clap-to the doors: watch
1119 to-night, pray to-morrow.—Gallants, lads, boys, hearts of gold,
1120 all the titles of good fellowship come to you!
1121 What, shall we be merry? shall we have a play extempore?
Prince Hal
1122 Content; and the argument shall be thy running away.
Sir John Falstaff
1123 Ah, no more of that, Hal, an thou lovest me!
[Enter the Hostess.]
Mistress Quickly
1124 O Jesu, my lord the Prince,—
Prince Hal
1125 How now, my lady the hostess! What say'st thou to me?
Mistress Quickly
1126 Marry, my lord, there is a nobleman of the Court at door would
1127 speak with you: he says he comes from your father.
Prince Hal
1128 Give him as much as will make him a royal man, and send him back
1129 again to my mother.
Sir John Falstaff
1130 What manner of man is he?
Mistress Quickly
1131 An old man.
Sir John Falstaff
1132 What doth gravity out of his bed at midnight? Shall I give him
1133 his answer?
Prince Hal
1134 Pr'ythee, do, Jack.
Sir John Falstaff
1135 Faith, and I'll send him packing.
[Exit.]
Prince Hal
1136 Now, sirs:—by'r Lady, you fought fair;—so did you, Peto;—so did you,
1137 Bardolph: you are lions, too, you ran away upon instinct, you will not
1138 touch the true Prince; no,—fie!
Bardolph
1139 Faith, I ran when I saw others run.
Prince Hal
1140 Tell me now in earnest, how came Falstaff's sword so hack'd?
Peto
1141 Why, he hack'd it with his dagger; and said he would swear truth out of
1142 England, but he would make you believe it was done in fight; and
1143 persuaded us to do the like.
Bardolph
1144 Yea, and to tickle our noses with spear-grass to make them bleed;
1145 and then to beslubber our garments with it, and swear it was the
1146 blood of true men. I did that I did not this seven year before;
1147 I blush'd to hear his monstrous devices.
Prince Hal
1148 O villain, thou stolest a cup of sack eighteen years ago, and wert
1149 taken with the manner, and ever since thou hast blush'd extempore.
1150 Thou hadst fire and sword on thy side, and yet thou rann'st away:
1151 what instinct hadst thou for it?
Bardolph
1152 My lord, do you see these meteors? do you behold these
1153 exhalations?
Prince Hal
1154 I do.
Bardolph
1155 What think you they portend?
Prince Hal
1156 Hot livers and cold purses.
Bardolph
1157 Choler, my lord, if rightly taken.
Prince Hal
1158 No, if rightly taken, halter.—Here comes lean Jack, here comes
1159 bare-bone.—
[Enter Falstaff.]
Prince Hal
1160 How now, my sweet creature of bombast! How long is't ago, Jack,
1161 since thou saw'st thine own knee?
Sir John Falstaff
1162 My own knee! when I was about thy years, Hal, I was not an eagle's
1163 talon in the waist; I could have crept into any alderman's thumb-ring:
1164 a plague of sighing and grief! it blows a man up like a bladder.
1165 There's villanous news abroad: here was Sir John Bracy from your
1166 father; you must to the Court in the morning.
1167 That same mad fellow of the North, Percy; and he of Wales, that gave
1168 Amaimon the bastinado, and swore the Devil his true liegeman upon the
1169 cross of a Welsh hook,—what a plague call you him?
Poins
1170 O, Glendower.
Sir John Falstaff
1171 Owen, Owen,—the same; and his son-in-law Mortimer; and old
1172 Northumberland; and that sprightly Scot of Scots, Douglas, that
1173 runs o' horseback up a hill perpendicular,—
Prince Hal
1174 He that rides at high speed and with his pistol kills a sparrow
1175 flying.
Sir John Falstaff
1176 You have hit it.
Prince Hal
1177 So did he never the sparrow.
Sir John Falstaff
1178 Well, that rascal hath good metal in him; he will not run.
Prince Hal
1179 Why, what a rascal art thou, then, to praise him so for running!
Sir John Falstaff
1180 O' horseback, ye cuckoo! but a-foot he will not budge a foot.
Prince Hal
1181 Yes, Jack, upon instinct.
Sir John Falstaff
1182 I grant ye, upon instinct. Well, he is there too, and one Mordake,
1183 and a thousand blue-caps more:
1184 Worcester is stolen away to-night; thy father's beard is turn'd
1185 white with the news: you may buy land now as cheap as stinking
1186 mackerel.
1187 But, tell me, Hal, art not thou horrible afeard? thou being
1188 heir-apparent, could the world pick thee out three such enemies again
1189 as that fiend Douglas, that spirit Percy, and that devil Glendower?
1190 art thou not horribly afraid? doth not thy blood thrill at it?
Prince Hal
1191 Not a whit, i'faith; I lack some of thy instinct.
Sir John Falstaff
1192 Well, thou wilt be horribly chid to-morrow when thou comest to
1193 thy father. If thou love life, practise an answer.
Prince Hal
1194 Do thou stand for my father and examine me upon the particulars
1195 of my life.
Sir John Falstaff
1196 Shall I? content: this chair shall be my state, this dagger my
1197 sceptre, and this cushion my crown.
Prince Hal
1198 Thy state is taken for a joint-stool, thy golden sceptre for a
1199 leaden dagger, and thy precious rich crown for a pitiful bald crown.
Sir John Falstaff
1200 Well, an the fire of grace be not quite out of thee, now shalt
1201 thou be moved.—
1202 Give me a cup of sack, to make my eyes look red, that it may be
1203 thought I have wept; for I must speak in passion, and I will do it
1204 in King Cambyses' vein.
Prince Hal
1205 Well, here is my leg.
Sir John Falstaff
1206 And here is my speech.—Stand aside, nobility.
Mistress Quickly
1207 O Jesu, this is excellent sport, i faith!
Sir John Falstaff
1208 Weep not, sweet Queen; for trickling tears are vain.
Mistress Quickly
1209 O, the Father, how he holds his countenance!
Sir John Falstaff
1210 For God's sake, lords, convey my tristful Queen;
1211 For tears do stop the floodgates of her eyes.
Mistress Quickly
1212 O Jesu, he doth it as like one of these harlotry players as ever
1213 I see!
Sir John Falstaff
1214 Peace, good pint-pot; peace, good tickle-brain.—Harry, I do not
1215 only marvel where thou spendest thy time, but also how thou art
1216 accompanied: for though the camomile, the more it is trodden on,
1217 the faster it grows, yet youth, the more it is wasted, the sooner
1218 it wears. That thou art my son, I have partly thy mother's word,
1219 partly my own opinion; but chiefly a villainous trick of thine eye,
1220 and a foolish hanging of thy nether lip, that doth warrant me. If,
1221 then, thou be son to me, here lies the point: Why, being son to me,
1222 art thou so pointed at?
1223 Shall the blessed Sun of heaven prove a micher, and eat blackberries?
1224 a question not to be ask'd. Shall the son of England prove a thief,
1225 and take purses? a question to be ask'd.
1226 There is a thing, Harry, which thou hast often heard of, and it is
1227 known to many in our land by the name of pitch: this pitch, as
1228 ancient writers do report, doth defile; so doth the company thou
1229 keepest: for, Harry, now I do not speak to thee in drink, but in
1230 tears; not in pleasure, but in passion; not in words only,
1231 but in woes also. And yet there is a virtuous man whom I have
1232 often noted in thy company, but I know not his name.
Prince Hal
1233 What manner of man, an it like your Majesty?
Sir John Falstaff
1234 A goodly portly man, i'faith, and a corpulent; of a cheerful look,
1235 a pleasing eye, and a most noble carriage; and, as I think, his age
1236 some fifty, or, by'r Lady, inclining to threescore; and now I
1237 remember me, his name is Falstaff: if that man should be lewdly given,
1238 he deceiveth me; for, Harry, I see virtue in his looks.
1239 If, then, the tree may be known by the fruit, as the fruit by the tree,
1240 then, peremptorily I speak it, there is virtue in that Falstaff: him
1241 keep with, the rest banish. And tell me now, thou naughty varlet, tell
1242 me where hast thou been this month?
Prince Hal
1243 Dost thou speak like a king? Do thou stand for me, and I'll play
1244 my father.
Sir John Falstaff
1245 Depose me! if thou dost it half so gravely, so majestically, both
1246 in word and matter, hang me up by the heels for a rabbit-sucker or a
1247 poulter's hare.
Prince Hal
1248 Well, here I am set.
Sir John Falstaff
1249 And here I stand.—Judge, my masters.
Prince Hal
1250 Now, Harry, whence come you?
Sir John Falstaff
1251 My noble lord, from Eastcheap.
Prince Hal
1252 The complaints I hear of thee are grievous.
Sir John Falstaff
1253 'Sblood, my lord, they are false.—Nay, I'll tickle ye for a
1254 young prince, i'faith.
Prince Hal
1255 Swearest thou, ungracious boy? henceforth ne'er look on me. Thou art
1256 violently carried away from grace: there is a devil haunts thee, in
1257 the likeness of an old fat man,—a tun of man is thy companion. Why
1258 dost thou converse with that trunk of humours, that bolting-hutch of
1259 beastliness, that swollen parcel of dropsies, that huge bombard of
1260 sack, that roasted Manningtree ox with the pudding in his belly, that
1261 reverend Vice, that grey Iniquity, that father ruffian, that vanity
1262 in years? Wherein is he good, but to taste sack and drink it? wherein
1263 neat and cleanly, but to carve a capon and eat it? wherein cunning, but
1264 in craft? wherein crafty, but in villany? wherein villainous, but in
1265 all things? wherein worthy, but in nothing?
Sir John Falstaff
1266 I would your Grace would take me with you: whom means your Grace?
Prince Hal
1267 That villainous abominable misleader of youth, Falstaff, that old
1268 white-bearded Satan.
Sir John Falstaff
1269 My lord, the man I know.
Prince Hal
1270 I know thou dost.
Sir John Falstaff
1271 But to say I know more harm in him than in myself, were to say more
1272 than I know. That he is old,—(the more the pity,—his white hairs do
1273 witness it. If sack and sugar be a fault, God help the wicked! if to
1274 be old and merry be a sin, then many an old host that I know is damn'd:
1275 if to be fat be to be hated, then Pharaoh's lean kine are to be loved.
1276 No, my good lord: banish Peto, banish Bardolph, banish Pointz; but,
1277 for sweet Jack Falstaff, kind Jack Falstaff, true Jack Falstaff,
1278 valiant Jack Falstaff, and therefore more valiant, being, as he is, old
1279 Jack Falstaff, banish not him thy Harry's company, banish not him thy
1280 Harry's company: banish plump Jack, and banish all the world.
Prince Hal
1281 I do, I will.
[A knocking heard.]
[Exeunt Hostess, Francis, and Bardolph.]
[Enter Bardolph, running.]
Bardolph
1282 O, my lord, my lord! the sheriff with a most monstrous watch is
1283 at the door.
Sir John Falstaff
1284 Out, ye rogue!—Play out the play: I have much to say in the
1285 behalf of that Falstaff.
[Re-enter the Hostess, hastily.]
Mistress Quickly
1286 O Jesu, my lord, my lord,—
Prince Hal
1287 Heigh, heigh! the Devil rides upon a fiddlestick: what's the matter?
Mistress Quickly
1288 The sheriff and all the watch are at the door: they are come to
1289 search the house. Shall I let them in?
Sir John Falstaff
1290 Dost thou hear, Hal? never call a true piece of gold a counterfeit:
1291 thou art essentially mad without seeming so.
Prince Hal
1292 And thou a natural coward, without instinct.
Sir John Falstaff
1293 I deny your major: if you will deny the sheriff, so; if not, let him
1294 enter: if I become not a cart as well as another man, a plague on my
1295 bringing up! I hope I shall as soon be strangled with a halter as
1296 another.
Prince Hal
1297 Go, hide thee behind the arras:—the rest walk, up above. Now,
1298 my masters, for a true face and good conscience.
Sir John Falstaff
1299 Both which I have had; but their date is out, and therefore I'll
1300 hide me.
Prince Hal
1301 Call in the sheriff.—
[Exeunt all but the Prince and Pointz.]
[Enter Sheriff and Carrier.]
Prince Hal
1302 Now, master sheriff, what's your will with me?
Sheriff
1303 First, pardon me, my lord. A hue-and-cry
1304 Hath followed certain men unto this house.
Prince Hal
1305 What men?
Sheriff
1306 One of them is well known, my gracious lord,—
1307 A gross fat man.
Carrier
1308 As fat as butter.
Prince Hal
1309 The man, I do assure you, is not here;
1310 For I myself at this time have employ'd him.
1311 And, sheriff, I will engage my word to thee,
1312 That I will, by to-morrow dinner-time,
1313 Send him to answer thee, or any man,
1314 For any thing he shall be charged withal:
1315 And so, let me entreat you leave the house.
Sheriff
1316 I will, my lord. There are two gentlemen
1317 Have in this robbery lost three hundred marks.
Prince Hal
1318 It may be so: if he have robb'd these men,
1319 He shall be answerable; and so, farewell.
Sheriff
1320 Good night, my noble lord.
Prince Hal
1321 I think it is good morrow, is it not?
Sheriff
1322 Indeed, my lord, I think't be two o'clock.
[Exit Sheriff and Carrier.]
Prince Hal
1323 This oily rascal is known as well as Paul's. Go, call him forth.
Poins
1324 Falstaff!—fast asleep behind the arras, and snorting like a
1325 horse.
Prince Hal
1326 Hark, how hard he fetches breath. Search his pockets.
[Pointz searches.]
Prince Hal
1327 What hast thou found?
Poins
1328 Nothing but papers, my lord.
Prince Hal
1329 Let's see what they be: read them.
[reads]
Poins
1330 Item, A capon, . . . . . . . . . 2s. 2d.
1331 Item, Sauce, . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 4d.
1332 Item, Sack two gallons ,. . . 5s. 8d.
1333 Item, Anchovies and sack after supper, 2s. 6d.
1334 Item, Bread, . . . . . . . . . . . . . .ob.
Prince Hal
1335 O monstrous! but one half-pennyworth of bread to this intolerable
1336 deal of sack! What there is else, keep close; we'll read it at more
1337 advantage: there let him sleep till day.
1338 I'll to the Court in the morning. We must all to the wars, and thy
1339 place shall be honourable. I'll procure this fat rogue a charge of
1340 foot; and I know his death will be a march of twelve-score. The money
1341 shall be paid back again with advantage. Be with me betimes in the
1342 morning; and so, good morrow, Pointz.
Poins
1343 Good morrow, good my lord.
[Exeunt.]

Reading mode

Word definitions on hover

Notes

TLN 892archaic vocab
“three or four loggerheads amongst three or fourscore”
'Loggerheads' means blockheads or thick-skulled fools. Prince Hal boasts he has spent time with three or four dimwits surrounded by three- or fourscore (60-80) hogsheads of ale — a barrel-room full of tavern stock.
TLN 893rhetorical device
“sounded the very base-string of humility”
Hal uses a musical metaphor: to 'sound' a string is to pluck or strike it; the 'base-string' is the lowest string of a lute, representing the lowest rank of society. He has made himself at home with the humblest people in Eastcheap.
TLN 894archaic vocab
“sworn brother to a leash of drawers”
A 'drawer' is a tapster — a servant who draws ale or wine from casks and carries drinks to customers. A 'leash' is a set of three, from hunting language (a leash of hounds). Hal has bonded, as if by a sworn oath of brotherhood, with three tavern waiters.
TLN 898archaic vocab
“a corinthian, a lad of mettle”
'Corinthian' was Elizabethan slang for a good sport, a jolly reveller, a man who joins in freely with the fun. The drawers admire Hal as this kind of easy companion. The word comes from Corinth, a Greek city famed in antiquity for its luxury and licentiousness.
TLN 901archaic vocab
“drinking deep, dying scarlet; and, when you breathe in your watering”
The drawers have coined their own slang: 'dying scarlet' means drinking so deeply your face turns red. To 'breathe in your watering' means to pause for breath in the middle of a long drink; 'hem!' is the cry that urges the drinker to keep going, and 'play it off' means drain the cup.
TLN 906archaic vocab
“pennyworth of sugar, clapp'd even now into my hand by an under-skinker”
A 'skinker' is a tapster, one who serves drinks; an 'under-skinker' is a junior tapster or pot-boy. A small lump of sugar was sometimes given as a complimentary gift by tavern staff to favoured customers to sweeten their wine — a cheap gesture of goodwill worth a penny.
TLN 909archaic vocab
“Score a pint of bastard in the Half-moon”
'Bastard' was a sweet Spanish wine, cheaper than sack. To 'score' a drink means to chalk it up on a tally — credit, to be paid later. The 'Half-moon' was one of the named rooms of the Boar's Head tavern, which, like many large inns, had several parlours each with its own name.
TLN 921historical topical
“How long hast thou to serve, Francis?”
Hal is asking how long Francis has left on his apprenticeship. In Elizabethan England, a boy who entered a trade bound himself to a master by a legal indenture — a written contract — for a fixed term (often seven years). Francis's five remaining years tells us he is still early in his working life.
TLN 934historical topical
“about Michaelmas next I shall be”
Michaelmas is the feast of St Michael the Archangel, 29 September, one of the four 'quarter days' in the English legal and agricultural calendar. Contracts, rents, and apprenticeships commonly ran from quarter day to quarter day, so Francis reckons his age by this fixed date.
TLN 948archaic vocab
“leathern-jerkin, crystal-button, nott-pated, agate-ring, puke-stocking, caddis-garter”
Hal fires a volley of compound insults describing a low-grade tradesman: 'leathern-jerkin' (a leather waistcoat, workingman's wear), 'crystal-button' (cheap glass buttons, not silver), 'nott-pated' (short-cropped hair, as opposed to the fashionable long locks of a gentleman), 'agate-ring' (a ring set with a semi-precious agate, not a gold or gem ring), 'puke-stocking' (stockings of puke — a coarse dark cloth), 'caddis-garter' (garters of cheap worsted ribbon).
TLN 970historical topical
“all humours that have showed themselves humours since the old days of goodman Adam”
In Elizabethan medical theory, the body was governed by four 'humours' — blood, phlegm, yellow bile, and black bile — whose balance determined personality and health. To be 'of all humours' is to be in every possible mood at once, encompassing the whole range of human temperament since Adam (the first man).
TLN 976historical topical
“Percy's mind, the Hotspur of the North; he that kills me some six or seven dozen of Scots at a breakfast”
Hal's comic description of Hotspur — Harry Percy, the rebel leader — as a man who slaughters 'six or seven dozen Scots at a breakfast' and then asks for more work is a satirical portrait of Hotspur's ferocious but single-minded military appetite. Hotspur's nickname came from his fierce, impetuous fighting style on the Scottish border.
historical The Battle of Shrewsbury (1403)
TLN 993classical allusion
“Didst thou never see Titan kiss a dish of butter? pitiful-hearted butter, that melted at the sweet tale of the Sun”
Hal mocks Falstaff's sweating face by comparing it to butter melting in sunlight. 'Titan' is a poetic name for the Sun — specifically Hyperion, the sun Titan, whose warmth melts even a 'pitiful-hearted' (soft, feeble) piece of butter. Falstaff is so fat and so flushed that he melts like butter at the sun's approach.
classical Hyperion
TLN 1000archaic vocab
“then am I a shotten herring”
A 'shotten herring' is a herring that has spawned and discharged its roe — the most emaciated and worthless kind of fish, thin and flavourless. Falstaff uses it as a self-deprecating oath meaning 'then I am the most worthless creature imaginable.'
TLN 1003historical topical
“I would I were a weaver; I could sing psalms or any thing”
English weavers in Shakespeare's time had a strong association with psalm-singing, because many of the trade's skilled workers were Protestant religious refugees from the Low Countries (modern Belgium and the Netherlands) who brought Calvinist habits of communal psalm-singing with them.
TLN 1006historical topical
“beat thee out of thy kingdom with a dagger of lath, and drive all thy subjects afore thee like a flock of wild-geese”
Falstaff threatens to beat Hal with a 'dagger of lath' — the prop wooden dagger carried by the comic Vice character in the old morality plays. It was a stage joke: the Vice would comically batter the Devil with this harmless toy weapon. Falstaff threatens to humiliate a prince with a stage comedian's prop.
historical The Vice of the morality plays
TLN 1027archaic vocab
“at half-sword with a dozen of them two hours together”
'At half-sword' means fighting at extremely close quarters — within half a sword's length of the opponent, so close that the blade cannot be swung freely. Falstaff claims to have been locked in this intense, grappling style of combat with a dozen opponents for two solid hours.
TLN 1030archaic vocab
“my sword hack'd like a hand-saw,—ecce signum”
'Ecce signum' is Latin for 'behold the proof' or 'see the evidence' — Falstaff flourishes his notched sword as proof of the fierce battle he claims to have fought. The phrase was a common Latin tag meaning 'here is your sign/evidence.'
TLN 1033biblical allusion
“they are villains and the sons of darkness”
Falstaff's phrase 'sons of darkness' echoes the biblical contrast between 'sons of light' (the righteous, children of God) and 'sons of darkness' (the wicked, children of the Devil). The phrase gives his absurd oath an unintentionally self-condemning irony.
TLN 1074historical topical
“three misbegotten knaves in Kendal Green came at my back”
Kendal Green was a rough, bright-green woollen cloth made in Kendal, Westmorland (now Cumbria), and associated with foresters, country labourers, and outlaws (Robin Hood's men wore Lincoln Green, a similar cloth). Falstaff claims his final assailants wore this cloth — which Hal mocks, since Falstaff also claims it was too dark to see his own hand.
TLN 1077rhetorical device
“These lies are like the father that begets them, gross as a mountain, open, palpable”
Hal uses an extended simile: Falstaff's lies are like their own father — obvious and mountainous ('gross as a mountain'), plainly visible ('open'), and so tangible they can almost be touched ('palpable'). The logic inverts a proverb: instead of the children resembling the father, the lies resemble the quality of whoever made them.
TLN 1078archaic vocab
“thou whoreson, obscene greasy tallow-keech”
A 'tallow-keech' is a fat ball of tallow — the raw animal fat collected by a butcher and shaped into a lump before it is rendered into candle-wax or soap grease. Hal calls Falstaff a gross ball of animal fat, one of his more inventive insults in this extended name-calling exchange.
TLN 1085historical topical
“were I at the strappado, or all the racks in the world, I would not tell you on compulsion”
The strappado and the rack were two methods of judicial torture used in Continental Europe and occasionally in England. In the strappado, a prisoner's hands were bound behind the back, they were hoisted by a rope, then dropped — dislocating the shoulders. The rack stretched a prisoner's body until joints separated. Falstaff declares he would not answer under torture, which is characteristically absurd given that he is merely being asked to explain a lie.
TLN 1087wordplay
“if reasons were as plentiful as blackberries, I would give no man a reason upon compulsion”
Falstaff plays on the identical sound of 'reasons' and 'raisins' (both pronounced 'raisons' in Elizabethan English). Since raisins were a common, plentiful commodity, his joke is: 'even if raisins/reasons were as cheap as blackberries, I still wouldn't give you one on demand.'
TLN 1089archaic vocab
“this sanguine coward, this bed-presser, this horse-back-breaker, this huge hill of flesh”
'Sanguine' in the humour system meant having an excess of blood — the humour associated with a red complexion, cheerfulness, and rashness. It also simply means red-faced. 'Bed-presser' and 'horse-back-breaker' are comic insults for Falstaff's weight: he presses the bed flat and breaks a horse's back.
TLN 1091archaic vocab
“you eel-skin, you dried neat's-tongue, you stock-fish”
Falstaff retaliates against Hal's fat insults with a volley of skinny ones. An 'eel-skin' is the flayed skin of an eel — long, narrow, papery. A 'neat's-tongue' is an ox tongue dried for preservation — thin and leathery. 'Stock-fish' is cod or similar fish dried without salt, beaten flat until hard — proverbial for thinness. All mock Hal's lean figure.
TLN 1112classical allusion
“thou knowest I am as valiant as Hercules: but beware instinct; the lion will not touch the true Prince”
Falstaff compares himself to Hercules, the strongest hero of classical myth, while in the same breath explaining his cowardice as a form of royal deference. The 'lion will not touch the true Prince' is a genuine piece of proverbial natural history (lions were thought to respect true royalty by instinct), which Falstaff deploys with perfect comic seriousness.
classical Hercules and his labours
TLN 1118biblical allusion
“watch to-night, pray to-morrow”
Falstaff's raucous catchphrase inverts a biblical pattern. In the Gospels, Jesus says 'Watch and pray' (Matthew 26:41) — be spiritually alert and seek God's help. Falstaff splits the two: tonight is for drinking and carousing ('watch'), tomorrow can be for repentance and prayer.
TLN 1128wordplay
“Give him as much as will make him a royal man, and send him back again to my mother”
Hal puns on two meanings of 'royal': a royal man is a man fit for royalty, but a 'royal' was also a gold coin worth ten shillings (about half a pound sterling). A 'noble' was worth six shillings and eightpence; a royal exceeded it. Hal is saying: bribe the nobleman with ten shillings to go away.
TLN 1152historical topical
“do you see these meteors? do you behold these exhalations?”
Bardolph, whose face is covered with fiery carbuncles and a red nose from habitual drinking, asks Hal to read them as if they were atmospheric phenomena. In Elizabethan science, 'meteors' and 'exhalations' were fiery vapours that rose from the earth and ignited in the atmosphere — the same mechanism thought to produce lightning, shooting stars, and marsh-fires.
TLN 1160archaic vocab
“my sweet creature of bombast”
'Bombast' originally meant the cotton wool or padding stuffed into doublets and breeches to puff them out — hence anything inflated beyond its natural size. Hal calls Falstaff a 'creature of bombast': a being made of padding, hot air, and stuffing.
TLN 1183historical topical
“a thousand blue-caps more”
'Blue-caps' was a common English nickname for Scotsmen, from the blue bonnets (flat, round woollen caps) that were part of Scottish national dress. Falstaff is listing the rebel forces: Douglas's Scots ('a thousand blue-caps') join Hotspur's Northerners, the Welsh under Glendower, and Mortimer.
TLN 1185historical topical
“you may buy land now as cheap as stinking mackerel”
Land values fall when political instability threatens owners' security of title or when noble families are ruined by backing the wrong side in a rebellion. Falstaff's joke is that the crisis has crashed property values as far as mackerel — a fish so perishable it had to be sold almost immediately and thus very cheaply.
TLN 1196historical topical
“this chair shall be my state, this dagger my sceptre, and this cushion my crown”
Falstaff improvises the royal 'state' (a throne or seat of formal authority) from a tavern chair, a dagger, and a cushion. A 'state' was specifically a chair of estate — the tall, canopied throne used by the monarch in formal audiences. The mock-improvisation turns the tavern into a royal presence chamber.
TLN 1203historical topical
“I must speak in passion, and I will do it in King Cambyses' vein”
King Cambyses was the hero of a popular early Elizabethan play (c. 1560) by Thomas Preston, famous for its ranting, bombastic style of tragic speech. To act 'in King Cambyses' vein' means to declaim in thunderously overwrought, old-fashioned tragic style — full of alliteration, exclamation, and empty pomp.
TLN 1216cultural context
“the camomile, the more it is trodden on, the faster it grows, yet youth, the more it is wasted, the sooner it wears”
Falstaff quotes a proverbial observation about camomile (the herb) to make a rhetorical point about youth. Camomile was well known for growing more vigorously when walked on; Falstaff uses this as an analogy but then reverses it: unlike camomile, youth does not strengthen under misuse — it wears out.
TLN 1223wordplay
“Shall the blessed Sun of heaven prove a micher, and eat blackberries”
'Micher' means a truant or petty thief — someone who 'miches' (sneaks off, shirks duties, or pilferes small things). Falstaff, playing the King, asks whether the Sun (Hal) will prove a skulker who eats wild blackberries like a vagrant — the most undignified image for a prince. The Sun/Son pun is active: the Sun of heaven = the son of a king.
TLN 1227biblical allusion
“known to many in our land by the name of pitch: this pitch, as ancient writers do report, doth defile”
The proverb 'he that toucheth pitch shall be defiled' came from the biblical wisdom book Ecclesiasticus (Sirach). Falstaff, playing the King, uses it to condemn Hal's companions — ironically, since Falstaff is himself the pitch that defiles. The 'ancient writers' formula is also comic: Falstaff pretends to be citing learned authorities.
TLN 1258archaic vocab
“that trunk of humours, that bolting-hutch of beastliness, that swollen parcel of dropsies, that huge bombard of sack, that roasted Manningtree ox with the pudding in his belly”
Prince Hal (playing King Henry) delivers a rapid series of food and vessel insults for Falstaff. A 'bolting-hutch' is a flour-sifting box (a hutch through which dough is 'bolted' or sifted) — implying Falstaff is full of sifted beastliness. A 'bombard' is a large leather jug for wine or ale. 'Dropsies' means dropsy — a disease causing swelling from fluid retention. Manningtree in Essex was famous for the size of its roasted oxen at country fairs.
TLN 1260historical topical
“that reverend Vice, that grey Iniquity, that father ruffian, that vanity in years”
Hal (playing King Henry) labels Falstaff as characters from the old morality plays: the 'Vice' was the comic tempter who led the hero astray; 'Iniquity' was another morality-play name for evil personified. By calling Falstaff 'reverend Vice' and 'grey Iniquity,' Hal notes the absurdity of an old man still playing the young man's role of reckless tempter.
historical The Vice of the morality plays
TLN 1267biblical allusion
“That villainous abominable misleader of youth, Falstaff, that old white-bearded Satan”
Hal calls Falstaff 'Satan' — the devil — within the same mock-royal speech in which he has already labelled him the Vice and Iniquity of old morality plays. The comparison is serious beneath the comedy: Falstaff does function in the play as the corruptor of the prince, the tempter who leads him away from duty.
TLN 1275biblical allusion
“Pharaoh's lean kine are to be loved”
In Genesis, the Egyptian Pharaoh dreams of seven fat cows followed by seven lean cows that devour them — a vision Joseph interprets as seven years of plenty followed by seven years of famine. Falstaff argues that if fatness is hated, then Pharaoh's seven lean cows (kine = cattle) must be loved — a nonsense conclusion that defends his own corpulence.
TLN 1287archaic vocab
“the Devil rides upon a fiddlestick: what's the matter?”
Hal dismisses Mistress Quickly's panicked entrance with a proverb meaning 'there is nothing but noise and confusion' or 'the Devil is making mischief for no good reason.' A fiddlestick is a bow used to play a fiddle — an absurd mount for the Devil, reducing hellish danger to a comic squeak.
TLN 1293rhetorical device
“I deny your major”
A 'major' (more fully, the major premise) is the first and broader statement in a formal logical syllogism. When Hal says Falstaff is 'a natural coward, without instinct,' Falstaff responds by denying the major premise of the implied argument — using the technical language of university disputation to refuse logical debate.
TLN 1294historical topical
“if I become not a cart as well as another man, a plague on my bringing up”
Falstaff says he will face riding in a cart as well as any man — meaning he will face public disgrace, since felons and prostitutes were put in a cart and paraded through the streets as punishment. He follows it with the joke that he hopes to be strangled with a halter (a noose) as soon as the next man — i.e., he expects execution.
TLN 1323historical topical
“This oily rascal is known as well as Paul's”
St Paul's Cathedral (the medieval structure that preceded Wren's post-1666 building) was the great meeting-place, gossip-exchange, and public notice-board of London — so universally known that 'known as well as Paul's' meant 'known by absolutely everyone.' Hal says Falstaff is this publicly notorious.
TLN 1334archaic vocab
“Item, Bread, . . . . . . . . . . . . . .ob.”
'Ob.' is the abbreviation for 'obolus,' a halfpenny — the smallest unit of Elizabethan coinage. A halfpenny-worth of bread against five shillings and eightpence of sack (about 68 times more spent on wine than on bread) is the point of Hal's exclamation 'O monstrous! but one half-pennyworth of bread to this intolerable deal of sack!'
TLN 1340archaic vocab
“I know his death will be a march of twelve-score”
Hal says he will give Falstaff a command of infantry ('a charge of foot'), then adds grimly that a march of 'twelve-score' — 240 yards — will kill him. 'Twelve-score' was the standard regulation distance of an archery shot; here it means Falstaff is so fat and unfit that marching a mere quarter of a mile will be fatal.