Act 4, Scene 3
The same.
- [Enter ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE.]
- Antipholus of Syracuse
- 1073 There's not a man I meet but doth salute me
- 1074 As if I were their well-acquainted friend;
- 1075 And every one doth call me by my name.
- 1076 Some tender money to me, some invite me;
- 1077 Some other give me thanks for kindnesses;
- 1078 Some offer me commodities to buy;
- 1079 Even now a tailor call'd me in his shop,
- 1080 And show'd me silks that he had bought for me,
- 1081 And therewithal took measure of my body.
- 1082 Sure, these are but imaginary wiles,
- 1083 And Lapland sorcerers inhabit here.
- [Enter DROMIO OF SYRACUSE.]
- Dromio of Syracuse
- 1084 Master, here's the gold you sent me for.
- 1085 What, have you got the picture of old Adam new apparelled?
- Antipholus of Syracuse
- 1086 What gold is this? What Adam dost thou mean?
- Dromio of Syracuse
- 1087 Not that Adam that kept the paradise, but that Adam that keeps
- 1088 the prison; he that goes in the calf's skin that was killed for
- 1089 the Prodigal; he that came behind you, sir, like an evil angel,
- 1090 and bid you forsake your liberty.
- Antipholus of Syracuse
- 1091 I understand thee not.
- Dromio of Syracuse
- 1092 No? Why, 'tis a plain case: he that went like a bass-viol in a
- 1093 case of leather; the man, sir, that, when gentlemen are tired,
- 1094 gives them a sob, and 'rests them; he, sir, that takes pity on
- 1095 decayed men, and gives them suits of durance; he that sets up his
- 1096 rest to do more exploits with his mace than a morris-pike.
- Antipholus of Syracuse
- 1097 What! thou mean'st an officer?
- Dromio of Syracuse
- 1098 Ay, sir,—the sergeant of the band: that brings any man to answer
- 1099 it that breaks his band; one that thinks a man always going to
- 1100 bed, and says 'God give you good rest!'
- Antipholus of Syracuse
- 1101 Well, sir, there rest in your foolery. Is there any ship puts
- 1102 forth to-night? may we be gone?
- Dromio of Syracuse
- 1103 Why, sir, I brought you word an hour since that the bark
- 1104 Expedition put forth to-night; and then were you hindered by the
- 1105 sergeant, to tarry for the hoy, Delay: here are the angels that
- 1106 you sent for to deliver you.
- Antipholus of Syracuse
- 1107 The fellow is distract, and so am I;
- 1108 And here we wander in illusions:
- 1109 Some blessed power deliver us from hence!
- [Enter a COURTEZAN.]
- Courtesan
- 1110 Well met, well met, Master Antipholus.
- 1111 I see, sir, you have found the goldsmith now:
- 1112 Is that the chain you promis'd me to-day?
- Antipholus of Syracuse
- 1113 Satan, avoid! I charge thee, tempt me not!
- Dromio of Syracuse
- 1114 Master, is this Mistress Satan?
- Antipholus of Syracuse
- 1115 It is the devil.
- Dromio of Syracuse
- 1116 Nay, she is worse,—she is the devil's dam; and here she comes in
- 1117 the habit of a light wench; and thereof comes that the wenches
- 1118 say 'God damn me!' That's as much to say 'God make me a light
- 1119 wench!' It is written they appear to men like angels of light:
- 1120 light is an effect of fire, and fire will burn; ergo, light
- 1121 wenches will burn: come not near her.
- Courtesan
- 1122 Your man and you are marvellous merry, sir.
- 1123 Will you go with me? We'll mend our dinner here.
- Dromio of Syracuse
- 1124 Master, if you do; expect spoon-meat, or bespeak a long spoon.
- Antipholus of Syracuse
- 1125 Why, Dromio?
- Dromio of Syracuse
- 1126 Marry, he must have a long spoon that must eat with the devil.
- Antipholus of Syracuse
- 1127 Avoid then, fiend! What tell'st thou me of supping?
- 1128 Thou art, as you are all, a sorceress;
- 1129 I conjure thee to leave me and be gone.
- Courtesan
- 1130 Give me the ring of mine you had at dinner,
- 1131 Or, for my diamond, the chain you promis'd,
- 1132 And I'll be gone, sir, and not trouble you.
- Dromio of Syracuse
- 1133 Some devils ask but the paring of one's nail,
- 1134 A rush, a hair, a drop of blood, a pin,
- 1135 A nut, a cherry-stone; but she, more covetous,
- 1136 Would have a chain.
- 1137 Master, be wise; an if you give it her,
- 1138 The devil will shake her chain, and fright us with it.
- Courtesan
- 1139 I pray you, sir, my ring, or else the chain;
- 1140 I hope you do not mean to cheat me so.
- Antipholus of Syracuse
- 1141 Avaunt, thou witch! Come, Dromio, let us go.
- Dromio of Syracuse
- 1142 Fly pride, says the peacock: Mistress, that you know.
- [Exeunt ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE and DROMIO OF SYRACUSE.]
- Courtesan
- 1143 Now, out of doubt, Antipholus is mad,
- 1144 Else would he never so demean himself:
- 1145 A ring he hath of mine worth forty ducats,
- 1146 And for the same he promis'd me a chain;
- 1147 Both one and other he denies me now:
- 1148 The reason that I gather he is mad,—
- 1149 Besides this present instance of his rage,—
- 1150 Is a mad tale he told to-day at dinner,
- 1151 Of his own doors being shut against his entrance.
- 1152 Belike his wife, acquainted with his fits,
- 1153 On purpose shut the doors against his way.
- 1154 My way is now to hie home to his house,
- 1155 And tell his wife that, being lunatic,
- 1156 He rush'd into my house and took perforce
- 1157 My ring away: this course I fittest choose,
- 1158 For forty ducats is too much to lose.
- [Exit.]