Act 4, Scene 3

The same.

[Enter ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE.]
Antipholus of Syracuse
1073 There's not a man I meet but doth salute me
1074 As if I were their well-acquainted friend;
1075 And every one doth call me by my name.
1076 Some tender money to me, some invite me;
1077 Some other give me thanks for kindnesses;
1078 Some offer me commodities to buy;
1079 Even now a tailor call'd me in his shop,
1080 And show'd me silks that he had bought for me,
1081 And therewithal took measure of my body.
1082 Sure, these are but imaginary wiles,
1083 And Lapland sorcerers inhabit here.
[Enter DROMIO OF SYRACUSE.]
Dromio of Syracuse
1084 Master, here's the gold you sent me for.
1085 What, have you got the picture of old Adam new apparelled?
Antipholus of Syracuse
1086 What gold is this? What Adam dost thou mean?
Dromio of Syracuse
1087 Not that Adam that kept the paradise, but that Adam that keeps
1088 the prison; he that goes in the calf's skin that was killed for
1089 the Prodigal; he that came behind you, sir, like an evil angel,
1090 and bid you forsake your liberty.
Antipholus of Syracuse
1091 I understand thee not.
Dromio of Syracuse
1092 No? Why, 'tis a plain case: he that went like a bass-viol in a
1093 case of leather; the man, sir, that, when gentlemen are tired,
1094 gives them a sob, and 'rests them; he, sir, that takes pity on
1095 decayed men, and gives them suits of durance; he that sets up his
1096 rest to do more exploits with his mace than a morris-pike.
Antipholus of Syracuse
1097 What! thou mean'st an officer?
Dromio of Syracuse
1098 Ay, sir,—the sergeant of the band: that brings any man to answer
1099 it that breaks his band; one that thinks a man always going to
1100 bed, and says 'God give you good rest!'
Antipholus of Syracuse
1101 Well, sir, there rest in your foolery. Is there any ship puts
1102 forth to-night? may we be gone?
Dromio of Syracuse
1103 Why, sir, I brought you word an hour since that the bark
1104 Expedition put forth to-night; and then were you hindered by the
1105 sergeant, to tarry for the hoy, Delay: here are the angels that
1106 you sent for to deliver you.
Antipholus of Syracuse
1107 The fellow is distract, and so am I;
1108 And here we wander in illusions:
1109 Some blessed power deliver us from hence!
[Enter a COURTEZAN.]
Courtesan
1110 Well met, well met, Master Antipholus.
1111 I see, sir, you have found the goldsmith now:
1112 Is that the chain you promis'd me to-day?
Antipholus of Syracuse
1113 Satan, avoid! I charge thee, tempt me not!
Dromio of Syracuse
1114 Master, is this Mistress Satan?
Antipholus of Syracuse
1115 It is the devil.
Dromio of Syracuse
1116 Nay, she is worse,—she is the devil's dam; and here she comes in
1117 the habit of a light wench; and thereof comes that the wenches
1118 say 'God damn me!' That's as much to say 'God make me a light
1119 wench!' It is written they appear to men like angels of light:
1120 light is an effect of fire, and fire will burn; ergo, light
1121 wenches will burn: come not near her.
Courtesan
1122 Your man and you are marvellous merry, sir.
1123 Will you go with me? We'll mend our dinner here.
Dromio of Syracuse
1124 Master, if you do; expect spoon-meat, or bespeak a long spoon.
Antipholus of Syracuse
1125 Why, Dromio?
Dromio of Syracuse
1126 Marry, he must have a long spoon that must eat with the devil.
Antipholus of Syracuse
1127 Avoid then, fiend! What tell'st thou me of supping?
1128 Thou art, as you are all, a sorceress;
1129 I conjure thee to leave me and be gone.
Courtesan
1130 Give me the ring of mine you had at dinner,
1131 Or, for my diamond, the chain you promis'd,
1132 And I'll be gone, sir, and not trouble you.
Dromio of Syracuse
1133 Some devils ask but the paring of one's nail,
1134 A rush, a hair, a drop of blood, a pin,
1135 A nut, a cherry-stone; but she, more covetous,
1136 Would have a chain.
1137 Master, be wise; an if you give it her,
1138 The devil will shake her chain, and fright us with it.
Courtesan
1139 I pray you, sir, my ring, or else the chain;
1140 I hope you do not mean to cheat me so.
Antipholus of Syracuse
1141 Avaunt, thou witch! Come, Dromio, let us go.
Dromio of Syracuse
1142 Fly pride, says the peacock: Mistress, that you know.
[Exeunt ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE and DROMIO OF SYRACUSE.]
Courtesan
1143 Now, out of doubt, Antipholus is mad,
1144 Else would he never so demean himself:
1145 A ring he hath of mine worth forty ducats,
1146 And for the same he promis'd me a chain;
1147 Both one and other he denies me now:
1148 The reason that I gather he is mad,—
1149 Besides this present instance of his rage,—
1150 Is a mad tale he told to-day at dinner,
1151 Of his own doors being shut against his entrance.
1152 Belike his wife, acquainted with his fits,
1153 On purpose shut the doors against his way.
1154 My way is now to hie home to his house,
1155 And tell his wife that, being lunatic,
1156 He rush'd into my house and took perforce
1157 My ring away: this course I fittest choose,
1158 For forty ducats is too much to lose.
[Exit.]

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Notes

TLN 1082historical topical
“imaginary wiles, And Lapland sorcerers inhabit here”
Antipholus of Syracuse cannot explain why strangers greet him by name, offer him gifts, and measure him for clothes: he concludes the whole city is run by magic. 'Lapland sorcerers' invokes the Elizabethan belief that Lapland (Scandinavia's far north) was the homeland of witches and weather-magicians. His fear of being 'transformed' by Ephesian witchcraft echoes the biblical reputation of Ephesus itself as a city of 'curious arts' and exorcists (Acts 19).
biblical St Paul's Ephesus: magic and marriage
TLN 1085biblical allusion
“old Adam new apparelled”
Dromio describes the arresting sergeant through a chain of biblical word-pictures. 'Old Adam' is the human nature corrupted by the Fall — but Dromio immediately says he does not mean 'that Adam that kept the paradise' (Genesis) but the officer who 'keeps the prison.' The officer wears 'the calf's skin that was killed for the Prodigal' (Luke 15) — a leather jerkin like the fatted calf's hide — and comes 'like an evil angel' to take away Antipholus's liberty. All three images layer biblical references onto the mundane figure of a debt-arresting officer.
biblical The Prodigal Son
TLN 1092wordplay
“bass-viol in a case of leather”
Dromio shifts to legal and musical puns on the arresting sergeant. He goes 'like a bass-viol in a case of leather' — a large stringed instrument in its leather cover, i.e. a man swathed in his leather coat. He 'gives them a sob and rests them': 'rest' means arrest. 'Suits of durance' means hard-wearing prison clothes but also lawsuits that last; 'sets up his rest' means stakes everything (a gaming term); and the sergeant's 'mace' (his staff of office) is likened to a 'morris-pike,' a long battle-lance, mocking how grandly he wields a mere stick.
TLN 1103wordplay
“bark Expedition put forth to-night”
Dromio personifies the two ships as allegorical figures: the bark 'Expedition' (promptness) has already sailed, so they must wait for the 'hoy Delay' — a small slow coastal vessel named Delay. The joke is that the ship carrying their best hope of escape has gone, and now they are stuck waiting for the proverbially slow Delay. 'Angels' in the next line are gold coins (English angels, worth about ten shillings), not supernatural beings — Dromio has brought the ransom money, not divine messengers.
TLN 1113biblical allusion
“Satan, avoid! I charge thee, tempt me not”
When the Courtesan enters cheerfully asking about the chain he 'promised' her, Antipholus of Syracuse — who has never met her — thinks she must be a demon sent to trap him. 'Avoid' is the language of formal exorcism, echoing Christ's rebuke to Satan in the wilderness: 'Get thee behind me, Satan' (Matthew 4:10). His horror makes perfect farcical sense: to him, a strange woman who knows his name and claims he owes her valuables can only be supernatural. The audience knows she is addressing the wrong Antipholus — it is his Ephesian twin who dined with her and promised the chain.
TLN 1116wordplay
“devil's dam; and here she comes in the habit of a light wench”
Dromio insists the Courtesan is not Satan but worse: 'the devil's dam' (the devil's mother). She comes 'in the habit of a light wench' — wearing the clothes of a promiscuous woman — and 'light' triggers a rapid pun-chain: wenches who are 'light' (immoral) also give off light (like fire); 'It is written they appear to men like angels of light' (2 Corinthians 11:14 on Satan disguising himself as an angel); fire burns; therefore light wenches will burn — burn in hell, and also burn their partners with venereal disease.
TLN 1126cultural context
“he must have a long spoon that must eat with the devil”
When the Courtesan invites Antipholus to dine with her, Dromio warns his master via a well-known proverb: 'he must have a long spoon that must eat with the devil.' A long spoon lets you share a table with a dangerous companion while keeping your distance. The proverb warns that to have any dealings with someone wicked — to accept her hospitality, take her ring, or compromise with her demands — is to risk being drawn into her power.