Act 2, Scene 1

A public place.

[Enter ADRIANA and LUCIANA.]
Adriana
265 Neither my husband nor the slave return'd
266 That in such haste I sent to seek his master!
267 Sure, Luciana, it is two o'clock.
Luciana
268 Perhaps some merchant hath invited him,
269 And from the mart he's somewhere gone to dinner.
270 Good sister, let us dine, and never fret:
271 A man is master of his liberty;
272 Time is their master; and when they see time,
273 They'll go or come. If so, be patient, sister.
Adriana
274 Why should their liberty than ours be more?
Luciana
275 Because their business still lies out o' door.
Adriana
276 Look when I serve him so, he takes it ill.
Luciana
277 O, know he is the bridle of your will.
Adriana
278 There's none but asses will be bridled so.
Luciana
279 Why, headstrong liberty is lash'd with woe.
280 There's nothing situate under heaven's eye
281 But hath his bound in earth, in sea, in sky;
282 The beasts, the fishes, and the winged fowls,
283 Are their males' subjects, and at their controls:
284 Man, more divine, the masters of all these,
285 Lord of the wide world and wild wat'ry seas,
286 Indued with intellectual sense and souls
287 Of more pre-eminence than fish and fowls,
288 Are masters to their females, and their lords:
289 Then let your will attend on their accords.
Adriana
290 This servitude makes you to keep unwed.
Luciana
291 Not this, but troubles of the marriage-bed.
Adriana
292 But, were you wedded, you would bear some sway.
Luciana
293 Ere I learn love, I'll practise to obey.
Adriana
294 How if your husband start some other where?
Luciana
295 Till he come home again, I would forbear.
Adriana
296 Patience unmov'd, no marvel though she pause:
297 They can be meek that have no other cause.
298 A wretched soul, bruis'd with adversity,
299 We bid be quiet when we hear it cry;
300 But were we burd'ned with like weight of pain,
301 As much, or more, we should ourselves complain:
302 So thou, that hast no unkind mate to grieve thee,
303 With urging helpless patience would relieve me:
304 But if thou live to see like right bereft,
305 This fool-begg'd patience in thee will be left.
Luciana
306 Well, I will marry one day, but to try:—
307 Here comes your man, now is your husband nigh.
[Enter DROMIO OF EPHESUS.]
Adriana
308 Say, is your tardy master now at hand?
Dromio of Ephesus
309 Nay, he's at two hands with me, and that my two ears can witness.
Adriana
310 Say, didst thou speak with him? know'st thou his mind?
Dromio of Ephesus
311 Ay, ay, he told his mind upon mine ear. Beshrew his hand, I
312 scarce could understand it.
Luciana
313 Spake he so doubtfully thou could'st not feel his meaning?
Dromio of Ephesus
314 Nay, he struck so plainly I could too well feel his blows; and
315 withal so doubtfully that I could scarce understand them.
Adriana
316 But say, I pr'ythee, is he coming home?
317 It seems he hath great care to please his wife.
Dromio of Ephesus
318 Why, mistress, sure my master is horn-mad.
Adriana
319 Horn-mad, thou villain?
Dromio of Ephesus
320 I mean not cuckold-mad; but, sure, he's stark mad.
321 When I desir'd him to come home to dinner,
322 He ask'd me for a thousand marks in gold:
323 "Tis dinner time' quoth I; 'My gold,' quoth he:
324 'Your meat doth burn' quoth I; 'My gold,' quoth he:
325 'Will you come home?' quoth I; 'My gold,' quoth he:
326 'Where is the thousand marks I gave thee, villain?'
327 'The pig' quoth I 'is burn'd'; 'My gold,' quoth he:
328 'My mistress, sir,' quoth I; 'Hang up thy mistress;
329 I know not thy mistress; out on thy mistress!'
Luciana
330 Quoth who?
Dromio of Ephesus
331 Quoth my master:
332 'I know' quoth he 'no house, no wife, no mistress:'
333 So that my errand, due unto my tongue,
334 I thank him, I bare home upon my shoulders;
335 For, in conclusion, he did beat me there.
Adriana
336 Go back again, thou slave, and fetch him home.
Dromio of Ephesus
337 Go back again! and be new beaten home?
338 For God's sake, send some other messenger.
Adriana
339 Back, slave, or I will break thy pate across.
Dromio of Ephesus
340 And he will bless that cross with other beating:
341 Between you I shall have a holy head.
Adriana
342 Hence, prating peasant: fch thy master home.
Dromio of Ephesus
343 Am I so round with you, as you with me,
344 That like a football you do spurn me thus?
345 You spurn me hence, and he will spurn me hither:
346 If I last in this service, you must case me in leather.
[Exit.]
Luciana
347 Fie, how impatience low'reth in your face!
Adriana
348 His company must do his minions grace,
349 Whilst I at home starve for a merry look.
350 Hath homely age the alluring beauty took
351 From my poor cheek? then he hath wasted it:
352 Are my discourses dull? barren my wit?
353 If voluble and sharp discourse be marr'd,
354 Unkindness blunts it more than marble hard:
355 Do their gay vestments his affections bait?
356 That's not my fault; he's master of my state:
357 What ruins are in me that can be found
358 By him not ruin'd? then is he the ground
359 Of my defeatures: my decayed fair
360 A sunny look of his would soon repair;
361 But, too unruly deer, he breaks the pale
362 And feeds from home; poor I am but his stale.
Luciana
363 Self-harming jealousy!—fie, beat it hence.
Adriana
364 Unfeeling fools can with such wrongs dispense.
365 I know his eye doth homage otherwhere;
366 Or else what lets it but he would be here?
367 Sister, you know he promis'd me a chain;—
368 Would that alone, alone he would detain,
369 So he would keep fair quarter with his bed!
370 I see the jewel best enamelled
371 Will lose his beauty; yet the gold 'bides still
372 That others touch, yet often touching will
373 Wear gold; and no man that hath a name
374 By falsehood and corruption doth it shame.
375 Since that my beauty cannot please his eye,
376 I'll weep what's left away, and weeping die.
Luciana
377 How many fond fools serve mad jealousy!
[Exeunt.]